Divorce at an older age is becoming more common than ever. In fact, there’s even a term for it now: gray divorce. The rate of gray divorce, or divorces among people 50 and over, has doubled since the 1990s, and researchers predict it will triple by 2030, according to Psychology Today.
Divorcing in your 50s, 60s or beyond can impact your finances in major ways, often just as you’re getting ready for retirement. Since you don’t have a ton of time left in the workforce to make up for losses, you must do everything you can to lessen the effect of the separation on your finances.
Let’s pretend, for example, that Ashley is getting divorced after 30 years of marriage. Ashley is 60, her two kids have graduated from college, she and her husband co-own a home they bought together, and she’s trying to decide what to do about the shared family home.
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Ashley wants to stay in the house, but she’ll need to buy her husband’s interest out, and she’s worried that doing so will derail her retirement plans. So should Ashley keep the house, and what are some of the big factors she should consider in making the choice?
Does she have enough assets to buy out her husband and retire?
Ashley first needs to look at the logistics of buying out her ex. How, specifically, will she do it?
If the couple has enough other assets that they’re dividing, she could agree to give her ex more of their other possessions in exchange for keeping the house. For example, she could give up the couple’s cars and give more of their shared investments to her husband as they divide up their property.
Of course, Ashley must be careful. She definitely can’t afford to give up most or all of her interest in retirement and bank accounts in exchange for keeping the home. After all, at 60, she has very little time left to save for her future.
As a general rule of thumb, you need around 10 times your final salary saved to maintain your standard of living in retirement. If buying her husband out — either by cashing in accounts or giving up a larger portion of shared marital assets — would leave Ashley falling far short of that goal, she shouldn’t even consider that route.
After all, you can’t live on home equity. You need retirement investments that produce income.
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What would getting a mortgage look like?
Ashley could also get a mortgage on the house to buy out her husband’s share of the home. She’d need to qualify in her own name to do that, which means having proof of income and good credit.
Unfortunately, mortgage rates have been much higher in the post-pandemic era than they were in the earlier part of the 2000s, so getting a mortgage could come with some pretty expensive payments depending on just how much she’d have to borrow.
Typically, keeping total housing costs to about 30% of your income is a good rule of thumb. If she cannot afford the loan it would take to buy out her husband without going above this threshold, she probably doesn’t want to make herself house poor in retirement.
It’s also worth noting that if the couple still has a mortgage on the home, Ashley would likely need to refinance that into her own name and make sure her husband is taken off the deed to the house. That way, she would have both the asset and the obligation.
If the couple got their mortgage many years ago, this may mean accepting that her new loan will have a higher rate. That could push her new housing costs even higher if she has to get a new mortgage and refinance a cheaper old one.
Can she handle maintenance and upkeep?
If Ashley can afford to trade away other marital assets, pay cash for the house out of her share of the retirement and bank accounts without dropping too far below the 10x her final salary in savings or get an affordable mortgage to buy out her husband and stay below the 30% threshold, this still doesn’t necessarily mean she should keep the family home.
She’ll also need to be prepared to cover the costs of repairs and handle maintenance tasks, which could be harder as a single person in her 60s.
If the home is older, there may be expensive fixes that would have to come out of her retirement budget. And if it’s larger or has a big yard, she’d need to be prepared to clean and do yardwork as she ages. And she won’t have her husband’s help any more.
She should only buy out her husband’s share of the house if she’s confident that she can take care of the home, keep her costs reasonable, and still have the necessary amount of money left to retire.
If not, she may be better off letting the home be sold, downsizing into a smaller place, and using any proceeds to shore up her retirement savings -- especially since she now needs to fund her retirement herself as she won’t have two Social Security checks coming into the house now that she’ll be living separately from her husband once the divorce is done.
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Christy Bieber is a US based personal finance and legal writer who has 15 years of experience. She has written for many publications including Forbes, Kilplinger, CNN, WSJ, Credit Karma, Insurify and more.
