My sister's getting married and wants to ask guests for cash to help fund the down payment on a home. I think that's obnoxious — who's right?

Let’s say, for example, that Debra’s sister Natalie is getting married and Natalie put a down payment fund on her registry. Unfortunately, this offended Debra, who felt that it was rude and inappropriate to “beg” for money from family and friends.

So, is Debra in the right? Did Natalie make a faux pas? Or is Debra following old rules and trying to deprive her sister of a chance to build a better future? Etiquette experts weigh in.

Down payment funds have become common, but remain controversial

While Debra is being a bit of a Debbie Downer here, the reality is that home down payment funds have become incredibly popular among engaged couples.

The Wall Street Journal recently reported that seven in eight couples plan to include a cash contribution fund on their wedding registries, and 40% expect to use that money to buy a home or move into a house.

Of course, just because it’s common doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the right move. Some etiquette experts believe a request for cash is definitely not appropriate.

“There’s no polite way to ask for cold, hard cash,” Nick Leighton, co-host of Were You Raised By Wolves? told Moneywise.

Lisa Mirza Grotts, founder of Golden Rules Gal, agreed, telling Moneywise, “Yes, it’s tacky, and a cringeworthy request. A gift is a gesture of goodwill, not a contribution to a savings goal.” Grotts said that even if the request is worded politely, it turns a celebration into a fundraiser and puts the couple’s needs ahead of guests’ desires to be generous.

“Let guests choose what to give, and if some choose cash on their own, accept it graciously,” Grotts said.

It’s all in the way you ask

While some etiquette experts are not on board, others say that it’s perfectly fine for Natalie to request a cash contribution as long as it’s done in the proper way.