‘Alcohol is mind-blowing’: Ex-house manager for the ultra-rich reveals where their money really goes

“Why would a wealthy family need a house manager?” Sethi asked.

“When you’re dealing with such high net worth, like billionaire status, typically those types of people are really busy, they’re running businesses, they’re doing a million things at once,” Griffin explained. “So they really need somebody to make sure when they get home that their home is managed.”

“They don’t have to think about anything. All the friction is removed. When they come home, everything is as it should be,” she added.

According to an October survey on consumer spending habits from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the largest spending categories for average U.S. households are dominated by housing, transportation, food and insurance.

Unsurprisingly, according to Griffin, ultra-high-net-worth households spend their money differently than the average American household. Here’s where their money goes.

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When you think of a billionaire, you might just picture one person: Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos. But, at a certain level of wealth, a name becomes a brand — and an individual becomes a team. While many of us cringe at the thought of having strangers in our homes, Griffin estimated that on any given day, the rich families she worked for would have up to a dozen people in the house at once.

“In ultra-high-net-worth homes, there was never not someone there,” Griffin said. “There was always someone in the home, even in the evenings. Whether it was staff, whether it was a live-in nanny, they were never alone. I noticed that they never wanted to be alone. There was this need to constantly have people around.”

Chefs, contractors, landscapers, drivers, dog walkers, personal trainers, you name it. The house manager essentially served as a coordinator across all of the staff members.

If there were kids in the household, Griffin said “100% there’s a nanny involved.” And sometimes, more than one.

“A lot of the time there’s a live-in nanny involved. So there will be a live-in nanny during the week, and then on the weekend they’ll be relieved by the weekend live-in nanny. In some cases, there have been two nannies.”

Luxury travel

According to the US Census Bureau, the average American spends nearly a half hour commuting to work each way, while roughly one in 10 workers face one-way commutes over 60 minutes. That equates to over 2 hours in a scrunched-up Honda Civic or Toyota Corolla.

In contrast, Griffin recalled a client who took a daily helicopter ride from Malibu to avoid the typical Los Angeles traffic congestion. Another client challenged her with the near-impossible task of shipping a $500K car from California to Hawaii in 24 hours to impress a woman. The $80K wasn’t a concern, but the fact that it would take 48 hours left him no longer interested.

She also couldn’t remember ever booking an economy or coach ticket for a client.

“A lot will travel private,” Griffin said. “If it’s not private, it’s always first class. I’ve never booked a coach ticket for a high net worth individual ever actually, in my entire experience. It was always if they’re flying on a plane, it’s first class.”

Even with all of the details fully planned out by someone else, travel can still be stressful. While packing luggage was outsourced, private planes scheduled on their behalf, and handlers ready to greet them, “there’s still always this frenzy — no matter what.”

Fully stocked refrigerators

“Every single wealthy household has a completely stocked fridge with every single drink you could possibly imagine: Perrier, sodas, diet sodas …wellness shots, even IV banana bag drips.”

Griffin explained that food is not only provided to you, it’s often put away for you, too.

“ You go outside, the pool has been cleaned,” she said. “You want to have guests over that day and want pool toys, they’re there waiting for you. Basically, every request, anything you’ve needed has been handled. You have no wants.”

“Sounds a lot like being a 7 year old,” Ramit joked.

“It’s a convenience,” Griffin replied. “You don’t have to think about these things. You should be 10 steps ahead.”

When asked if there was ever a budget, Griffin said there was “never” a budget. “I would be given a credit card and trusted with that credit card to use it at my discretion,” she said.

Perhaps the biggest shock for the former house manager was just past the refrigerator, in the cellar.

“Alcohol is mind-blowing. I would see people drinking wines that were, you know, my salary.”

For perspective, Griffin said she earned $80K a year plus benefits, but that was many years ago. These days, she estimates the salary range for an experienced house manager is in the ballpark of $150K-$200K.

“I remember having to get some wine from this massive wine cellar and I looked up one of the bottles and it was like $10K, just one of the bottles, and it was just this wall of wine, so I’m looking at hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of wine,” she said. “And they’re just sippin’ the wine. I’m sure it was phenomenal.”

That “difficult” concept, as Griffin put it, led her toward some enlightened observations.

“A lot of the spending was disconnected from intentionality. It was almost just like ‘how much can I spend?’ I’m going to spend as much as I can possibly spend. The finest of this and the finest of that.”