She walked away from her divorce with $1 million — but she's keeping it secret from her boyfriend. Dave Ramsey gives her the hard truth

As she shared on The Ramsey Show, the two of them are talking about moving in together and getting married, but their financial situations are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Amy told hosts Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze that she walked away from a previous divorce with “over a million dollars” in cash, along with a paid-off house and car. She also receives $10,000 a month in income from an “equalization payment” stemming from the divorce.

Her boyfriend, meanwhile, works two jobs, has two young children and very little in savings.

“I’m just kinda trying to figure out what to disclose and when without giving all my cards away too early in the game,” Amy said on the show.

It’s a fair question, particularly for someone coming out of a divorce. But Ramsey’s response was pretty direct.

When the money stays a secret

Amy doesn’t want the money to change the relationship before she knows whether this is someone she can actually build a life with.

And after her divorce, it’s easy to see why she might be taking her time. Starting over with someone new can come with plenty of questions of its own, even without adding a seven-figure bank balance to the mix.

The Pew Research Center found that 66% of Americans who have divorced have eventually remarried, while 15% of divorced women were living with an unmarried partner in 2023. For Amy, though, starting over comes with another question: how much should she tell a new partner about her money?

As Ramsey explained on the show, there’s a point where keeping quiet stops being cautious and starts becoming a problem.

“In general, the relationship rule would be: if you’re going to share your life with someone — before you agree to do that — they should know who you are 100%,” Ramsey said.

Amy also acknowledged that she comes from a place of “privilege.” Her $10,000 monthly equalization payment means she can support herself and her own two children without working, while her boyfriend brings in roughly $4,000 a month from his two jobs.

Ramsey said he understood why she was hesitant to divulge her wealth. Her divorce was still relatively recent and he noted that it can be hard to “jump back into the trust game” after getting hurt.

That doesn’t mean Amy needs to rush things, though. Ramsey recommended pre-marriage counselling for the couple and said he would avoid having her boyfriend move into her paid-off house before they get married. With her income, her home and their financial differences, he said taking things more slowly makes sense.

Amy doesn’t have to hand over control of her money just because the relationship is getting serious. But if marriage is where this is headed, Ramsey’s view is that her boyfriend should know what he’s getting into. Marriage, though, brings a different set of questions.

If they do get married, Amy and her partner will have to figure out how they’re going to handle the day-to-day stuff, from paying household bills to deciding whether they’ll keep separate accounts. They’ll also need to talk about what happens to the money and property each person brings into the marriage.

That’s why Ramsey and Cruze brought up a prenuptial agreement. With a significant amount of money at stake, putting some agreements in writing before the wedding could give both people a clearer picture of what they’re agreeing to.

Having the prenup conversation

Ramsey and Cruze both recommended that Amy keep her finances separate until she and her boyfriend decide they’re ready to get married. They also suggested a prenup.

“We don’t recommend prenups most of the time, but where there’s a substantial difference between the two, and with kids involved, second marriages, [etc.],” Ramsey and Cruze said.

In Amy’s case, there’s a pretty wide gap between her and her partner’s finances. There are also children involved and if the two were to get married, Amy would be walking down the aisle for a second time.

Prenups are becoming more common in the U.S. A 2022 Harris Poll found that 15% of Americans who were married or engaged said they had signed a prenup, which is up from 3% in 2010. The basic idea is to agree in advance on how certain financial matters will be handled, rather than leaving those decisions to state law if the marriage ends in divorce.

For Amy, that could mean making it clear what she already owns before getting married and what happens to those assets later. It also gives the couple a chance to talk through some uncomfortable financial questions before they’re married, when both people still have the opportunity to decide what they’re comfortable with.