Don’t make at least $139,000 a year and single? Sorry, but you aren't dateable, say other American singles

According to a Northwestern Mutual study, millennials ages 30 to 45 had the highest income expectations for a potential partner, putting the ideal salary at $160,000 a year. Gen Z wasn’t exactly modest either, naming $135,000 as its preferred figure.

Both generations put their ideal partner comfortably into six-figure territory suggesting that, for some singles, a high income may be becoming less of a bonus and more of a requirement.

Tom Murray, an assistant professor at Grand View University, certified financial therapist and sex therapist, says that may be because people aren’t just evaluating whether someone makes a good partner today. They’re imagining what life with that person could look like years down the road.

“For a portion of the population, they want to imagine a future that is free of the financial stressors that they’re experiencing today,” Murray told Moneywise.“Consequently, some assume that a six-figure income guarantees a life of little stress.”

Financial compatibility

For younger Americans, talking about money is becoming a bigger part of figuring out whether a relationship has long-term potential.

And salary isn’t the only financial consideration creeping earlier into relationships. In another Northwestern Mutual study, conducted by The Harris Poll, found younger generations are having financial conversations with their partners earlier and some place financial compatibility ahead of emotional chemistry, physical attraction or shared interests.

There’s also a noticeable divide in what men and women say they would ideally like a partner to earn. Women put that number at about $172,000 a year, compared with $101,000 for men.

Those expectations don’t exist in a vacuum. Women still earn less than men on average. Pew Research Center found that in 2024, women earned about 85 cents for every dollar earned by men, a gap that has narrowed only modestly over the past two decades.

But Murray cautions that focusing too heavily on income can give singles a misleading picture of someone’s actual financial health. Someone earning six figures can still be spending every dollar they make — or more.

“People can be cash-flow rich, but balance-sheet poor,” he said.

ROI in love

Murray argues debt and spending habits may tell you far more about a potential partner than the number on their tax return.

“‘Can the person live within their means?’ is a much better question than how many zeros are on their tax return,” he said.

There’s some evidence couples feel the same way. Fidelity’s 2026 Couples & Money study found 53% of couples say being on the same page about financial habits is a top factor in a successful relationship.

So while earning below someone’s preferred salary could make a potential partner less desirable, Murray says the underlying concern may be less about finding someone rich and more about finding someone who won’t add another source of financial stress.

“People want relationships to be additive rather than an additional burden,” he said. “To put it in economic terms, people want their relationships to have a substantial return on their investment.”

What are you really looking for?

Modern dating already asks a lot of two people. Even the most promising relationships can come with a few early-dating growing pains as two people figure out how their lives and expectations actually fit together.

Then there’s money. Suddenly, defining the relationship can mean confronting the less romantic details: how someone spends, what they save, whether they carry debt and what kind of life they imagine being able to afford.