'I almost fell off the chair': This 40-year-old wife was shocked when her 'financial guru' husband revealed $520K in hidden debt — how lifestyle creep catches up with high earners

“I almost fell off the chair,” she said when describing the moment her partner, Aldo, finally revealed their financial situation. “I was floored.”

Despite earning high incomes, the pair seem to be the victims of lifestyle creep, and recent data suggests this could lead higher earners to be locked into debt for long periods of time.

The couple says their conversation was sparked after watching an episode of Ramit Sethi’s Netflix show “How to Get Rich.” They decided to call the finance expert directly to seek some advice.

Secret debt

Cassandra and Aldo, 41, have been married for 18 years and have two kids. Despite the length of their relationship, they rarely discussed money — which is why Cassandra was, until recently, unaware that the couple had a total of $520,000 in debt. Around $66,000 of that is in collections because of missed loan payments.

Aldo’s reluctance to discuss this debt isn’t unusual. Around 30% of men and 19% of women admitted to hiding credit card balance information from their partners in a survey by Bread Financial, a tech-enabled financial services firm. Hiding debt, it seems, is easier than talking about it.

Sethi says money conversations are often loaded with guilt and denial, which makes it similar to talking about health issues.

“We see clues everywhere, we feel aches and pains,” he said. “But instead of taking an honest look at what we’re eating and our activity levels, we actually concoct these very sophisticated, convoluted stories about how our metabolism is changing.”

He added: “Everyone around us is doing the same, so we genuinely believe it.”

Cassandra, however, missed all the clues about their family’s deteriorating finances. She says her husband is the “financial guru,” which is why he was responsible for all the budgets.

“He works in finance, he knows all of this stuff. I have friends that go to him for financial advice so never would I have ever thought we would be in this predicament,” she said.

The couple seems to recognize they have a spending problem. Aldo sees his role as a protector and provider, so he shielded Cassandra from money stress and had trouble refusing things.

“I mostly say yes and then try to figure out how I’m going to make that ‘yes’ happen,” he said.

“We've gone on these vacations and we've got nice things, but they're all on credit cards and loans,” Cassandra said.

Long-term issue

Not only can debt be a difficult topic of discussion, but it can linger longer for high-income households.

The couple earns more than $165,000 in salary combined, and Aldo earns roughly $130,000 a year in variable quarterly bonuses.

Among those earning $100,000 or more annually who carry credit card debt, nearly 3-in-4 (72%) have been in debt for at least a year, according to Bankrate data.

Cardholders with incomes of $50,000 or less are more likely to have credit card debt (53%) than those earning $100,000 or more (38%), but long-term debt is more common among high earners.

The issue may come down to lifestyle creep. Data shows higher earners have been spending more money on entertainment and vacations lately, even if it puts them further into debt.

“When people start earning more, they tend to spend more — increasing their expenses by purchasing a bigger home and better car, going on nicer trips and simply spending more on a day-to-day basis,” personal finance expert Andrea Woroch told Bankrate.