My slacker husband is just 3 years away from retirement but I’m worried he’ll get fired before then — how do I protect my own financial future?

Let’s pretend, for example, that Amanda is worried her husband Jake is not taking his job seriously enough. Jake was already fired two years ago, and while he found a new work-from-home job, she sees him slacking off and spending time doing personal errands during working hours.

Jake is three years away from retirement, but Amanda believes that he needs to keep working until then for the couple to be secure. Unfortunately, Amanda’s afraid he’ll end up getting fired early, not be able to find a new job and put the couple’s future at risk. She wants to know how she can protect herself if this outcome becomes a reality.

Understand the impact if Jake gets fired

The first thing Amanda needs to do is to take stock of exactly what would happen if her fears come true.

“Before you do anything defensive, define how big an impact two or three more working years actually has on your retirement lifestyle,” David Talley, CFP and founder of Talley Wealth, told Moneywise.

“Two or three years may change the budget you’d live off of in retirement for sure, but it’s often much smaller than what the average person would assume. It’s almost a universal thing that when we walk through the real math, people say, ‘wow, I don’t actually gain all that much by working two more years.’”

If Amanda and Jake sit down with a professional and find out that Jake getting fired wouldn’t meaningfully change their retirement prospects, that could take some weight off Amanda’s shoulders.

“In just a few minutes of calculation guided by a professional who knows what they’re talking about, a couple that’s bitter at each other can all of a sudden feel like they’re on the same page,” Talley said. “They’re happy, and maybe it becomes, okay, I’ll stick it out for one more year, and then I’m going to retire, instead of you freaking out for the next three years and resenting me.”

Of course, Amanda may still be upset that he’s not taking his job seriously. But it would be much easier for her to address that issue from a place of understanding if she’s not worried she’ll end up broke because of his bad on-the-job behavior.

Get to the root cause of the issue

If Jake’s early termination would affect their finances in a material way, or if Amanda is upset about his attitude toward work anyway, then the couple may need to have a conversation. But Amanda likely needs to take a hard look at what’s driving her feelings about his work behavior and find the right way to approach the discussion.

“Arguments about job performance are often less about the job and more about fear, security and the future you want,” Lisa Abrotsky, a therapist and founder of New Reflections Counseling, told Moneywise.

“If there aren’t any facts — no poor performance reviews, no disciplinary action has been taken — then there’s no reason to discuss it. If there are facts, sit down together and have an open, honest conversation about how their job performance could impact your retirement plans.”

Abrotsky advised against approaching the conversation by telling Jake he’s slacking, but instead taking the time to get to the root of the issue. “Try asking questions from a place of curiosity. Are they burned out? Dealing with health problems? Stressed about what’s happening at work? Starting to check out emotionally because retirement feels so near?”

If Amanda is open to working with and understanding Jake instead of treating him as an adversary, that will make it much easier for the couple to create a real plan for how they’ll approach the coming years.

Build a buffer

Ultimately, since Amanda is feeling uneasy, the best course of action for the couple would be to ensure their plans for the future give her the confidence she needs.