Feb 4, 2025
Inheriting $1.2 million in an IRA can change your life in many different ways. If your money comes from your ex-husband, for example, and you’ve since remarried, this can complicate things further. What if your second spouse wants a piece of that windfall?
If you want to give the assets in the IRA to a charity but your current husband is angered by that suggestion, you need to think carefully about what course of action makes the most sense given your values and goals.
Peace of mind
When you are the sole beneficiary of a $1.2 million inheritance from your ex, this money is yours even if you are married to someone else. Inheritances are considered separate property
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In fact, even in community property states where divorcing couples are each entitled to half of all assets acquired during the marriage, an inheritance is treated as separate property unless the beneficiary chooses to co-mingle it with marital property or unless the money is expressly left to both spouses.
Now, you may decide that you want to leave some portion of the money to your current husband if you pass away first. Many couples choose to leave their entire estates to each other, especially if they don't have children. This is so common that there's even a nickname for it: an "I Love You Will."
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However, you do not have to do this — and there may be many reasons why you don't want to, especially if you received the money from an ex-spouse and don't think it would be right to give it to your current spouse.
If you want to give the money to charity, you should be able to do that and your new husband has no grounds to tell you not to.
In this situation, the fact that your current husband is pressuring you to go against your desires so he can inherit more of your money is actually a pretty big red flag.
It's worth considering whether your current husband has applied financial pressure on you or been controlling before and, if so, some counseling may be called for.
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How to manage your estate plan without kids
If you do remain committed to giving the money to charity, you should consider making those gifts during your lifetime or at least talking with an estate planning lawyer about how to structure them.
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You can use tools like a charitable remainder trust to make sure you can live off some of the income from the money during your lifetime and then allow a charity to get what's left after you are gone. It is, however, irrevocable and has other features that may be viewed as negatives which is why an estate planning lawyer should be consulted.
It's important to put these plans in place early or prepare a will, because although your inheritance is considered separate property and belongs solely to you, if you die without a will, state intestacy laws determine who inherits your property when you pass away, and your spouse could end up with everything.
This situation shows the clear importance of estate planning — especially if you do not have children. You have many options for what to do with money, from giving it to a charity to leaving it to your husband or other family or friends to giving it away while you are alive.
Only you get to decide what's right for you, and if your current husband is trying to convince you not to be true to yourself, you should discuss his wishes, aim to understand where he is coming from, but ultimately follow your heart. It's the only way to build the legacy you deserve.
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Christy Bieber has 15 years of experience as a personal finance and legal writer. She has written for many publications including Forbes, Kilplinger, CNN, WSJ, Credit Karma, Insurify and more.
