I’m 57 and my ex-husband left me $1.2M in an IRA. I want to give it to charity — but my current husband, 60, insists I leave it all to him. How can I balance charity and his peace of mind?

Inheriting $1.2 million in an IRA can change your life in many different ways. If your money comes from your ex-husband, for example, and you’ve since remarried, this can complicate things further. What if your second spouse wants a piece of that windfall?

If you want to give the assets in the IRA to a charity but your current husband is angered by that suggestion, you need to think carefully about what course of action makes the most sense given your values and goals.

Peace of mind

When you are the sole beneficiary of a $1.2 million inheritance from your ex, this money is yours even if you are married to someone else. Inheritances are considered separate property

In fact, even in community property states where divorcing couples are each entitled to half of all assets acquired during the marriage, an inheritance is treated as separate property unless the beneficiary chooses to co-mingle it with marital property or unless the money is expressly left to both spouses.

Now, you may decide that you want to leave some portion of the money to your current husband if you pass away first. Many couples choose to leave their entire estates to each other, especially if they don't have children. This is so common that there's even a nickname for it: an "I Love You Will."