Aug 9, 2026
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Add us on GoogleThe number of adults living with their parents hit a new record in 2025, with 25.2 million adults ages 25 to 35 residing with their parents. That’s almost one in three young people who are still living at home.
Unfortunately, in some cases, these multigenerational living arrangements don’t work out.
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Let’s pretend, for example, that Gabriella’s son Juan has moved back in with her. He’s 27 and works as an office manager, but he’s refused to pay his share of the household bills. Gabriella is frustrated that Juan isn’t contributing to expenses, and she’s not sure if she should make Juan move out or how to handle the situation.
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So, what should she do?
Understand the reasons for the non-payment
The first thing Gabriella needs to do is to figure out why Juan isn’t paying rent.
“What parents often forget is that the refusal to help out around the house or pay rent is usually just shame combined with some level of learned helplessness in a kid who may have held jobs before but never fully supported themselves,” Hayley Caddes, cofounder of Not Therapy, a coaching company for neurodivergent and stuck 18- to 29-year-olds, told Moneywise.
Getting to the bottom of Juan’s issues should be the first priority for Gabriella so she can see if they can find a solution. That’s going to involve a tough conversation, as well as some introspection to understand what she communicated when she allowed Juan to return home.
“As a parent myself, I always want to do all that I can financially for my children,” Domenick D’Andrea, founder of DanDarah Wealth Management, told Moneywise. “I’d start with the reason he moved back home and whether I laid out the rules financially for what’s expected. If he just lost his job or just ended a long-term relationship, I may be more understanding.”
The outcome of this conversation will shape Gabriella’s next move, as she may decide to give Juan some more grace or determine that tough love is the answer.
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Asking adult children to pay rent isn’t always the answer
If Gabriella isn’t satisfied with Juan’s reasons for not paying rent, or if she still feels taken advantage of, D’Andrea recommends having a “long conversation about finances to make him understand that he is always welcome, but he needs to contribute or potentially find a new place to live.”
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Caddes agrees that Gabriella may need to take a firm line when it comes to contributing to the household.
“Rent is non-negotiable, and the only variable should be the currency in which they pay it,” Caddes said. She explained that parents could make their children contribute in different ways after moving home. For example:
- Adult children with a job could contribute to costs with their paychecks from employers.
- Those with no job could use their savings because, as Caddes said, “watching their account move closer to zero every month is one of the most motivating experiences they can have.”
- Those with no savings or income can work off the debt and “pay rent in real labor with real market value,” Caddes suggested, advising that adult children could do tasks like power-washing the deck or digitizing 20 years of family photos.
Demanding that Juan choose a way to contribute may end up being exactly the right move, not just for Gabriella but also for Juan, as well, over the long term.
D’Andrea said said he knows how much it might sound cruel, but children need to be taught how to survive in the real world. And, one day, they’ll look back and realize how loved they are.
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Christy Bieber has 15 years of experience as a personal finance and legal writer. She has written for many publications including Forbes, Kilplinger, CNN, WSJ, Credit Karma, Insurify and more.
