My buddy fired me from being a groomsman because I couldn't afford the $1,000 bachelor party. Then the wedding invite arrived. Should I go?

Let’s say, for example, that Malik was scheduled to be a groomsman in his friend Josiah’s wedding, but was unable to afford the $1,000 for the bachelor party. Josiah removed him from the wedding party, but sent him an invite to the event anyway.

Now Malik is trying to decide whether to attend. And here’s what etiquette experts have to say about the situation.

Declining the invite is entirely reasonable

Malik has a tough choice to make, and his feelings about being left out of the wedding party should guide his RSVP, as most etiquette experts believe sending his regrets would be entirely appropriate if that’s what feels right.

“If being removed from the wedding party revealed that the friendship had become transactional, he should politely decline, without drama,” Lisa Mirza Grotts, a national etiquette expert and founder of Golden Rules Gal™, told Moneywise.

Jennifer M. Porter, an etiquette expert based in Seattle, also agreed that Malik shouldn’t go if the pain is too fresh. “It’s absolutely OK to express disappointment at being relieved of the groomsman role for something as silly as not being able to attend the bachelor party,” Porter said.

Porter actually experienced a similar situation when she couldn’t afford to attend a friend’s bachelorette party as a young woman. However, in her case, she was still included in the wedding party, and she feels that “the groom’s behavior is totally unacceptable and the demoted friend should protect his feelings, time, and energy when dealing with a shallow groom.”

Attending could help preserve the friendship

Although Malik has every reason not to attend the wedding, he also has to think about his long-term goals.