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Retirement
Loneliness and isolation are risk factors for illness, injury and death in senior citizens. lucigerma/Envato

I’m a recent widow in Florida whose only child is in California. I’d pay a lot more to live there, but I'm lonely — does it make sense to move?

When your spouse dies, your own mortality risk jumps by 66% in the 90 days after the death. This likely isn’t a huge surprise to anyone who has lost a loved one. Grief can take a toll on the body and mind, and that’s especially true when you lose your partner after a long marriage.

Bereavement can also make you more lonely and socially isolated, both of which can significantly increase your risk of health issues or death. And if you’ve found yourself facing this loss and your children live far away, your situation may feel even worse as you don’t have that point of connection.

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Let’s take Lisa, for example. Lisa’s husband Stanley passed away recently, and now Lisa is feeling lonely and hopeless. She lives in Florida, but her only child lives in California, so she’s trying to decide whether moving to be near her daughter makes sense.

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However, the answer may be more complicated than you’d think, even though the numbers all likely point one way.

The math is clear: A move would almost certainly cost more

In deciding whether to move, Lisa must come to terms with a fact she already intuitively knows. The financial math is very unlikely to make sense.

“It’s very important to understand how the expenses will change,” Clifford C. Cornell, a financial advisor at Bone Fide Wealth, LLC, told Moneywise. “Especially as a retiree, there is little potential to earn more money outside of returning to work. A move from Florida to California can have a significant impact tax-wise. I’d look to understand how this impacts any RMDs the retiree might be taking,” he said, referring to required minimum distributions (i.e., mandatory withdrawals) from retirement accounts.

The reality is that Florida has no personal income tax, while California has the highest state income tax rate in the country. California also taxes withdrawals from retirement accounts (including required minimum distributions) at your ordinary income tax rate. This means Lisa could go from paying 0% state income taxes to as high as 13.3% in the highest tax bracket.

And it’s not just taxes, either. “With cost of living anticipated to rise, along with the state tax bite, you’d want to have a really good understanding as to your nest egg’s ability to support you,” Cornell warned.

California is around 20% more expensive to live in than the Sunshine State, with restaurants, groceries, transportation, and housing all costing significantly more. This means that if Lisa was living comfortably on $70,000 in income in Florida, she’d need $84,000 in California to maintain the same standard of living. Even if some expenses might be reduced if Lisa is able to get some help with everyday things from family, that is still a lot more money to spend.

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Life is about more than just math

If you look solely at the numbers, Lisa definitely shouldn’t move. But the reality is that she’s sad and lonely, and staying put means she’ll continue to be far away from her only child. So, before she writes off moving, she needs to do some math to see what her life would really look like.

“I would start off with going over all of your expenses and your ability to save while living in Florida. If you’re living paycheck to paycheck, the numbers probably won’t work. If you can save money and have accumulated a substantial nest egg, then you may be able to make the move,” Domenick D’Andrea, a financial advisor and co-founder of DanDarah Wealth Management, told Moneywise.

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However, you’ll want to be absolutely sure you can cover your expenses in California, without jeopardizing your long-term security.

“A good starting point is looking at a sustainable withdrawal rate, often in the 4% range annually, adjusted for your specific situation,” Matt Kimmel, a regional trust and investment manager at Farmers and Merchants Trust Company, told Moneywise.

While Kimmel said that many factors, including your Social Security and pension, can affect your income, doing this math will give you an idea of whether you can cover the essentials with the funds you have.

You’ll also need to review the equity in your Florida home if you own, and how much your mortgage or rent will be in California given the state’s high property values. D’Andrea recommends sitting down with a financial professional and real estate agents to run the numbers and get a true picture of the cost of living in California.

“If all the numbers work out and you can still live a solid retirement, then I would say to move forward,” D’Andrea said. So as long as Lisa won’t be driven broke and would genuinely be happy with her daughter, it may be time to call up the movers.

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Christy Bieber Freelance Writer

Christy Bieber has 15 years of experience as a personal finance and legal writer. She has written for many publications including Forbes, Kilplinger, CNN, WSJ, Credit Karma, Insurify and more.

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