Most people would not like to spend their twilight years in a nursing home, but many find themselves with no other choice.
One California couple has put hundreds of thousands of dollars into making sure they have other choices.
“After one celebration of life, my husband looked at me and said, ‘promise me you’ll never put me in a home,’” said 72-year-old Kathie Schwartz to Business Insider. “That was kind of my jumping-off point: What were our options?”
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The couple doesn’t have children, so they knew they needed to figure out their future themselves. But even people with children should start proactively planning all parts of their retirement.
Here’s what the couple did — and why you would be wise to follow their lead.
Planning to age in place without relying on family
The couple is still in great health. But they’re also at the age where they’re losing friends — and it made them start thinking about whether they had a plan if their health started to fail.
“I started thinking about whether our home was still right for us and whether we were living in the right place,” said Schwartz to Business Insider. “I had gone through it with my parents and watched friends go through it, too.”
So, they gave up their three-storey house in the snowy mountains, moving into one of their rental properties that was less than a third of the size.
It was a lot more manageable, but it didn’t have any room for visitors. If the couple needed a full-time caregiver as they grew older, they wouldn’t have the space to provide lodging.
If they were to join the 9.8 million adults who received healthcare assistance at home, they would be in a tough position.
The couple decided to build a 480-square-foot tiny home in their backyard, spending $280,000. For now, it’s a space for friends to stay. In the future, it can house a home care aid, if necessary.
“Adding this tiny home to our property was truly one of the best real estate decisions I’ve ever made,” said Schwartz. “Not only did it increase the value of our property, but it has also given us so much flexibility.”
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Don’t assume your children will become caregivers
The couple already knew to plan on a retirement without children as caregivers. But many people who do have kids make the assumption that their adult children will serve as unpaid caregivers once they get older.
According to Pew Research, around two-thirds of adults say that adult children have a responsibility to provide caregiving for an elderly parent.
But saying that is easier than actually providing unpaid caregiving support. In another study by Pew Research, they found that unpaid familial caregiving had a negative impact on the caregiver’s career, finances, emotional well-being, physical health and social life.
Some children simply can’t afford to move into their parent’s house (or move their parents into theirs) and provide caregiving. Others just won’t want to — especially sons, who provide an average of 5.6 hours of elderly parent care per month compared to 12.3 hours from daughters, according to a study from Princeton University.
If you do want your children to provide caregiving as you grow older, have that conversation with them now, not when you’re in the hospital trying to figure out next steps. And even if they say yes, things could change when it’s actually time. Make sure you have the budget for a Plan B.
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Kit Pulliam is a DC-based financial journalist with over five years of experience writing, editing and fact-checking financial content.
