My 76-year-old dad has dementia and I caught his caretaker using his credit card for Amazon orders. Do I confront him or call the cops?

Now, Ted is left wondering whether he should confront Pete directly or take a different approach.

Confronting the caregiver could be a bad move

Ted is understandably upset after catching Pete using the card for his own purposes, and he likely feels justified in confronting Pete after witnessing the credit card misuse.

“Finding this out can be very upsetting, especially when you have trusted someone to care for your father,” Tiffany O’Connell, founder and elder law attorney at O’Connell Law, told Moneywise. “I would take it seriously and act promptly.”

However, this doesn’t mean approaching Pete directly.

“Don’t confront the caregiver right now, because first you will want to make sure you have evidence,” Roger Diefendorf, an attorney at Forum & Lex, P.C., told Moneywise. “Access the Amazon account to take screenshots of the order history and make sure to review the shipping addresses to see who actually got the benefit.”

Ted also may want to avoid confronting Pete due to the risk of a physical altercation or violence. Pete may get aggressive when he’s called out, which could put Ted in danger. A fight between the two also likely wouldn’t accomplish the ultimate goals of ensuring the victim is compensated for the theft and that the thief is held accountable.

Rather than taking the risks of a direct confrontation, Ted should follow an established protocol in place in most areas for dealing with this kind of behavior.

How to protect your loved one and hold the caregiver accountable

Ted can and should take appropriate action, because the caregiver’s behavior is not OK.