Jun 19, 2025
When Matt from Bismarck, North Dakota, called into The Ramsey Show, he asked if his mom was responsible for his dad’s credit-card debt.
His father, now in assisted living, racked up $18,000 on an American Express card. While Veterans Affairs assistance covers some of his residential care, it’s not enough to cover interest on his debt.
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That leaves Matt’s 75‑year‑old mom doing her best to pay interest on her husband’s debt. She has no savings and works part-time, three days a week.
Neither Matt nor his sister have the means to eliminate their father’s $18,000 debt. Their parents’ home is paid off and valued at $700,000, but their mom does not want to sell and move.
"In order to save the house, [you're] going to have to deal with Amex,” Dave Ramsey said, adding that otherwise, “They're going to just drive her bananas.”
The family’s financial crossroads
Theoretically, American Express could place a lien on Matt’s parents’ home to recover the debt and force a sale — driving Matt’s mother out.
But Ramsey said credit-card companies like American Express rarely take this kind of action, saying there’s less than 0.25% chance of it happening.
The real concern, Ramsey said, is that Amex’s collections department will harass Matt’s mother relentlessly to get more money.
"They are absolute buttholes,” he said. “They are horrible to deal with.”
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Mitigate the damage of parental debt
To shield Matt's mom and his parents' home, Ramsey laid out this plan:
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For six to nine months — or until the debt “goes bad” — Matt’s mother should stop making any payments on the credit card and refuse to engage with collectors. Ramsey said that means she should not pick up the phone or respond to any inquiries, email or otherwise. During that time, Matt and his sister should save a total of $5,000.
At the nine-month point, or whenever the debt has “gone bad,” Matt and his sister should offer American Express a $5,000 lump-sum settlement (no more) to settle the debt once and for all.
Ramsey added that Matt and his sister should refuse to pay off the debt until Amex agrees to the $5,000 settlement terms in writing — not just over the phone.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, here are some things you can do:
- Know your rights. Unsecured debts don’t legally attach to someone who didn’t co-sign.
- Separate finances. Keep your own credit accounts separate; avoid adding additional liability.
- Document everything. Request written settlement terms. As Ramsey said, “If it’s not in writing, it didn’t happen.”
- Assess legal exposure. Find out whether creditors can file a judgment lien and under what conditions. This will vary from state to state and depend on your specific circumstances.
- Limit communication. Harassment by collectors is regulated. File complaints if needed under the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act.
- Plan liquidity strategy. Even if you have no savings, consider offering up a lump-sum settlement to eliminate your parent’s debt with available equity and/or family contributions.
- Seek professional help. Credit counseling firms and elder law attorneys can aid in navigating intergenerational debt.
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With a writing and editing career spanning over 13 years, Emma creates and refines content across a broad spectrum of industries, including personal finance, lifestyle, travel, health & wellness, real estate, beauty & fitness and B2B/SaaS/tech. Her versatility comes through contributions to high-profile clients like Moneywise, Healthline, Narcity and Bob Vila, producing content that informs and engages, along with helping book authors tell their stories.
