The matrimonial home is often a key asset that couples fight over in divorce courts. But what happens when one partner simply doesn’t want to leave the house once the relationship has ended?
Jake, 24, from Ontario, Canada, found himself in this difficult predicament. On an episode of The Ramsey Show, he described how his marriage was on the verge of collapse, but added that his wife wanted to stay in the house with him after the separation to raise their 18-month-old son.
Dave Ramsey was gobsmacked by the suggestion. “You know when you say out loud, ‘we’re going to get a divorce and live in the same house as roommates’, that’s just strange, weird and dumb,” he told Jake.
Although Ramsey thinks the concept of post-divorce cohabitation is “asinine” and laughable, a growing number of people are considering this option as they face a grueling housing market.
Here’s why Ramsey might have missed the mark with his advice.
The cost of living crisis
Jake said his wife doesn’t have a college degree and that she would struggle to find work or a place to live if they separated. “The way the market is right now, even renting a home would be super hard for her,” he explained.
For context, Jake resides in Ontario, where the housing market is exceptionally unaffordable right now. The vacancy rate for rental units across the province was just 1.8% as of October 2022, according to data from the Canada Mortgage and Housing Corporation.
In Toronto, Ontario’s largest city, a one-bedroom condo costs upwards of $2,372 Canadian dollars (or $1,752 USD) a month to rent, according to Rentals.ca.
Meanwhile, the average selling price for a condo in the Toronto area was $716,145 (or $533,000 USD), in the third quarter of 2023, according to TRREB.
A similar trend is playing out in the U.S., as mortgage rates rise and house prices remain far beyond the reach of the average American. Even celebrities like Kevin Costner claim they are struggling to get their partners to leave after divorce.
It would appear that post-divorce cohabitation is another trend Ramsey has arguably missed, along with rising daycare costs and the lack of affordable housing.
Nevertheless, he offered Jake advice on how to navigate this tricky situation.
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Two solutions
Ramsey recommended Jake and his wife continue to see a marriage counselor to help them deal with their issues. An attempt to make the marriage work could be best for them. “If you guys staying in the same house involves healing your marriage, I’m all for it,” Ramsey told Jake.
However, if that fails, he strongly recommended they sell the house and move into individual apartments.
Jake’s son, Ramsey said, “does not need to be raised by divorced parents living in the same house together. That’s so freaking weird and psychologically damaging to your son. No!”
Researchers have looked into the impacts of marital conflict on children’s development. A study from the University of Massachusetts found “destructive conflict resolution styles,” such as hostility and marital withdrawal, negatively affect children’s emotional well-being, leading to anger, worry and sadness.
Another study from the Arabian Gulf University found that children who grow up in high-conflict families might have issues with self-esteem, trust, managing emotions and maintaining relationships.
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Vishesh Raisinghani is a financial journalist covering personal finance, investing and the global economy. He's also the founder of Sharpe Ascension Inc., a content marketing agency focused on investment firms. His work has appeared in Moneywise, Yahoo Finance!, Motley Fool, Seeking Alpha, Mergers & Acquisitions Magazine and Piggybank.
