My aunt just died and I’m shocked to learn she named me executor of her will. What to do when you have to settle a loved one's estate

As executor (alternatively known as personal representative or administrator depending on your state), you must ensure your relative’s finances are settled and their final wishes respected.

The weight of all that may trigger emotions besides grief. For example, shock — especially if your late relative named you the executor of their will without your prior knowledge.

You may feel overwhelmed and even resentful.

You can even refuse to take on the role, but if your relative named you because they trusted you above everyone else, you may feel obliged (1).

If you find yourself in this position, it’s a good idea to take a beat to sort out what you are and are not obliged to do.

Here is a more detailed breakdown of what this role entails (2).

The first steps in the probate process

First, you need to obtain a copy of your relative's death certificate, which you can get from the funeral home or the county or state where their death occurred.

If you don’t have a copy of the will, obtain one, read it thoroughly and file it in probate court in the county where your relative lived. Notify all beneficiaries of the will’s contents.

It’s common to hire an attorney to handle probate, which is the process of proving a will’s validity in court. If you do hire a lawyer, their legal costs will be covered by proceeds from the estate.

Probate is essential. You cannot distribute assets from your family member’s estate until the probate process is completed and you’ve settled all debts related to the estate.

This can be a lengthy and complex process, so it’s important to manage beneficiaries’ expectations. If conflicts break out, do your best to mediate the disagreements.

Settling a late relative’s finances

There are many other duties involved in settling your loved one’s estate. Copies of your relative’s death certificate will come in handy for these tasks as well (3).

You must notify government agencies of your family member’s passing. For example, you have to tell the Social Security Administration if your relative received Social Security benefits so monthly payments can be cancelled.

Notify all three credit bureaus — Experian, Equifax, and TransUnion — of your family member’s death to prevent criminals from opening accounts in your relative’s name.

Cancel recurring charges your family member was signed up for, such as cellphone or utility service as well as all their subscriptions.

And you'll need to settle your late relative’s debts, such as outstanding credit card balances or a mortgage.

If your family member owed money to the IRS at the time of their passing, you’ll need to deal with that, as well.

But you can hire a tax professional to assist. As with legal fees, you won’t have to pay for the tax professional’s fees: those too will come out of the estate.

Transferring assets

There may be some assets that can be transferred to a beneficiary without probate — for example a retirement account or a bank account with a named beneficiary (also known as a TOD, or Transfer on Death, account).

And if that beneficiary is you, even better.