Jan 9, 2025
Inheritance disputes can stir up family drama, but a recent caller on The Ramsey Show faced a truly peculiar scenario: his wife’s parents were left out of her grandma’s will.
“Grandma had passed away and left us one quarter of a multi-million dollar trust,” the anonymous caller told John Delony and George Kamel. “But we're just feeling really weird vibes from her parents who basically felt like they got skipped in the inheritance of it and that we should give them the money back somehow.”
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This tricky situation points to the importance of having proactive discussions around estate planning as a family. That way, if the couple knew this was the grandma’s intention for a long while, they’d feel less confused about whether they should share the money out of moral obligation.
Grandma’s wishes
Delony and Kamel both seem to agree that the caller probably shouldn’t give the parents a piece of the inheritance.
“There may be a reason why grandma was like, ‘I'm not leaving them any money, I'm going to leave it to the next generation,’” Delony said.
“They can feel all the weird vibes they want and be as mad as they want but this was not your decision and I would not give them a penny of this money,” Kamel added. “You don't have to gloat and hold it over them, but it's really not your money to give — grandma gave it to you.”
Family drama like this is common when a relatively large inheritance is left behind with surprising instructions. But it’s better to have an estate plan that may shock a few people than to not have one at all.
In fact, only 32% of Americans have a will, according to a 2024 Wills and Estate Planning Study from assisted living facilitator Caring.com. Of those who don’t have a will, 40% said it’s because they don’t have enough assets to justify it.
But Patrick Hicks, general counsel of digital estate planning company Trust & Will told Caring.com why this can be a flawed way of thinking.
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“Wills and estate planning are essential for everyone, not just the wealthy. Every person over the age of 18 should have an estate plan, no matter their financial situation,” he told Caring.com. “Wills do more than handle financial assets – they allow you to control important healthcare decisions, designate what happens with your digital and social media assets and provide specific guidance on how and by whom minor children should be looked after in the event of an emergency.”
Even if a thorough will is documented, individuals can further relieve their beneficiaries by taking the time to talk to them about their intentions before they pass.
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Communication is key
Communication is essential. Being reluctant to talk about money or mortality leaves many families guessing what their parents or grandparents intended when they decided how to split their wealth.
Consequently, 37% of adult children who know their parents have a will don’t know where it is, according to a 2023 LegalShield survey.
To avoid stirring up family feuds when you pass away, take the time to have an open and honest conversation with your family about your estate plan. Ensure that your will or trust is frequently updated to reflect changes in your family dynamics or your personal wishes.
You can decide whether you think it’s worth speaking to those you’ve left out to explain why and leave clear, perhaps written instructions for those who receive the wealth so they can put the money to use the way you intend.
A few awkward conversations could be the key to preserving family ties and cementing your legacy.
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Vishesh Raisinghani is a financial journalist covering personal finance, investing and the global economy. He's also the founder of Sharpe Ascension Inc., a content marketing agency focused on investment firms. His work has appeared in Moneywise, Yahoo Finance!, Motley Fool, Seeking Alpha, Mergers & Acquisitions Magazine and Piggybank.
