Apr 4, 2025
Dave from Springfield, Illinois is only 21 years old, fresh out of college, debt-free, in a stable relationship and hustling through internships. He’s even considering proposing to his girlfriend to start a new family.
There’s just one pressing concern: his girlfriend’s enormous pile of debt. He estimates that her total outstanding balance is roughly $70,000.
Advertisement
“Everytime I try to bring it up, she’s dismissive about it,” said the recent grad on an episode of The Ramsey Show. “I don’t really want to pay off her debt.”
Co-host John Delony’s response was as blunt as possible: “You should just break up with her, dude.”
Here’s why the show's mental health expert made a snap judgement that the relationship is doomed already.
Not on the same page
Dave’s hesitation to marry someone with debt isn’t unusual. A 2024 survey by the Achieve Center for Consumer Insights found that 64% of U.S. adults wouldn’t want to date someone with a lot of debt. Even an outstanding balance of $10,000 or less would be enough for 29% of people to consider ending their relationship.
Put simply, debt is a deal-breaker for many adults. For Dave, his girlfriend’s attitude towards the enormous balance also represents how different their outlook on life and money is.
“She's a little unmotivated like she isn't really that ambitious,” he said, explaining that she hasn’t really looked for much work out of college while he’s been busy doing internships and building a career.
"I worked so hard to be debt-free and she just kind of took the short-cut and I don't know, it just feels weird for me.”
Advertisement
A lack of shared money values once you're in a relationship isn’t so common. Roughly 84% of American couples said they were financially compatible with their partner, according to a 2024 Ipsos poll, while 87% said they were comfortable talking to their partner about personal finances.
Delony suggests that Dave’s lack of shared money goals with his girlfriend foreshadows more disagreements in the future.
“Down the road, you're going to run into, ‘Oh, I want to raise kids like this but this is how my dad did it’ or ‘I don't want to live in this neighborhood or this house,’” he said. “If that’s your first impulse is ‘what about me?’ then you’re not ready to get married yet.”
Co-host Rachel Cruze agrees, calling his girlfriend’s perspective on debt a “red flag.” However, she encourages Dave to have a conversation to see if they can try to get on the same page before breaking up.
If you and your partner are struggling to find common ground, there are ways to resolve these types of differences.
Must Read
- Dave Ramsey warns nearly 50% of Americans are making 1 big Social Security mistake — are you doing the same?
- Thanks to Jeff Bezos, you can now become a landlord for as little as $100 — and no, you don't have to deal with tenants or fix freezers. Here's how
- Robert Kiyosaki says this 1 asset will surge 400% in a year and begs investors not to miss this ‘explosion’
Join 250,000+ readers and get Moneywise’s best stories and exclusive interviews first — clear insights curated and delivered weekly. Subscribe now.
Resolving differences
Money can be a tricky subject, but the majority of American adults (79%) think it’s best to talk about personal finances with their partner early in their relationship, according to the Ipsos poll. At the same time, the Achieve study found that 29% of adults said couples should discuss their debt honestly within the first six months of dating.
With this in mind, having an open and honest conversation about your personal finances and debt can set the stage for a healthy relationship. You could also consider raising the subject periodically and creating a household budget together so that you and your partner can match expectations and create clear boundaries for individual finances.
You May Also Like
- Turning 50 with $0 saved for retirement? Most people don’t realize they’re actually just entering their prime earning decade. Here are 6 ways to catch up fast
- Inside a $1B real estate fund offering access to thousands of income-producing rental properties — with flexible minimums starting at $10
- Vanguard’s outlook on U.S. stocks is raising alarm bells for retirees. Here’s why and how to protect yourself
- Here are 5 easy ways to own multiple properties like Bezos and Beyoncé. You can start with $10 (and no, you don’t have to manage a single thing)
Vishesh Raisinghani is a financial journalist covering personal finance, investing and the global economy. He's also the founder of Sharpe Ascension Inc., a content marketing agency focused on investment firms. His work has appeared in Moneywise, Yahoo Finance!, Motley Fool, Seeking Alpha, Mergers & Acquisitions Magazine and Piggybank.
