Mar 22, 2026
The emotional toll from a broken marriage can be overwhelming. For many families, the financial fallout hits just as hard.
But for some, this hardship can compound. Emily, a disabled U.S. veteran from Nebraska, recently shared her version of this scenario on The Ramsey Show (1). She described leaving an emotionally abusive marriage all while raising four children — all under five years of age.
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Her husband, an over-the-road truck driver, has effectively disappeared from the household finances. Although he reportedly earned about $225,000 last year, she said only about $29,000 reached the household to cover bills.
Now she’s trying to hold things together on $2,600 a month in disability benefits plus about $1,000 to $1,200 in income from a small business she recently launched.
The situation has forced her to confront a difficult question many struggling families eventually face: Is bankruptcy the only way out?
The Ramsey Show hosts said no, warning that filing for bankruptcy could create more problems than it solves.
A marriage collapse leaves one parent holding the bills
The caller explained that she bought the family home before the marriage in 2018 and the property remains solely in her name.
She still owes about $34,000 on the mortgage and estimates she has roughly $58,000 in equity. Her monthly mortgage payment is about $933.
Beyond the mortgage, she carries several other debts: roughly $41,000 in student loans, $22,000 in credit card balances and $6,000 on a vehicle loan.
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Her finances were briefly stabilized by a $42,000 back payment from the Department of Veterans Affairs, which allowed her to create an emergency fund and pay down some debt. But that cushion has largely disappeared as she continued covering household expenses alone.
Her current budget runs between $4,500 and $5,000 per month, leaving her roughly $1,000 short every month based on her income. Meanwhile, she suspects her husband has diverted his earnings elsewhere.
Situations like this can create serious financial instability.
When couples share bank accounts or jointly hold debts, one partner’s actions can directly affect the other’s financial standing. If a spouse stops contributing or secretly reroutes income, the remaining partner may suddenly become responsible for the full cost of housing, food, childcare and debt payments.
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Why the Ramsey Show says bankruptcy isn’t the answer
Despite the financial pressure, the Ramsey Show hosts urged the caller not to file for bankruptcy immediately.
Bankruptcy can offer relief from overwhelming debt, but it comes with long-term consequences.
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A bankruptcy filing can remain on a credit report for seven to 10 years (2), potentially affecting the ability to qualify for mortgages, car loans or other credit in the future. It can also complicate legal proceedings during a divorce, since courts may still need to determine how assets and debts are divided between spouses.
Instead, the hosts recommended focusing first on stabilizing the household and pursuing legal separation.
One of the most important steps, they said, is moving forward with a divorce filing. That process could open the door to child support or alimony, which would significantly change the financial picture.
The hosts also advised her not to rush into selling the home, noting her mortgage payment is relatively low compared with typical housing costs.
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“You’re paying less than $900 a month,” Ramsey host Jade Warshaw said. “I don't think you're going to find anywhere cheaper to live.”
Warshaw also suggested practical steps such as changing the locks, freezing credit to prevent new debts from being opened in her name (3) and separating finances completely.
A step-by-step approach before considering bankruptcy
Financial experts often recommend taking several steps before considering bankruptcy, especially for parents trying to stabilize a household.
First, build a clear budget. Tracking every expense can reveal areas where spending can be trimmed, even temporarily.
Second, look for ways to increase income, whether through additional work, expanding a small business or temporary side jobs. Even modest increases can reduce monthly deficits.
Next, consider contacting creditors directly to explore hardship programs (4), lower payment plans or temporary pauses that can provide breathing room. It’s also important to prioritize housing and essential expenses before focusing on unsecured debts like credit cards.
Article sources
We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.
The Ramsey Show Highlights (1); Experian (2); USAGov (3); CBS News (4)
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Chris Clark is a Kansas City–based freelance contributor for Moneywise, where he writes about the real financial choices facing everyday Americans—from saving for retirement to navigating housing and debt.
