Apr 29, 2026
Tax time can be stressful enough without discovering your partner has hidden debt that could impact your financial future. But that's exactly what happened to an Ohio man who called The Ramsey Show for advice.
Jerry, from Columbus, said that his wife of 11 months recently revealed that she owes the IRS about $48,000 in back taxes (1).
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"It didn't occur to her that this was a problem," he said. "She thought it would fix itself."
After reviewing her financials, Jerry said that he now has a clear picture of her financial situation and the near $50,000 debt she owes. To complicate things further, the couple is expecting their first baby in two months.
Jerry asked for advice on next steps, but Dave Ramsey had other pressing concerns.
"I really want to make sure, relationally, that there's nothing else out there riding," Ramsey said, adding. "I'm scared that this could happen again if there's not an acknowledgment [of] how damaging this is to a relationship — by her."
Getting to the root of financial secrecy
Jerry, fortunately, has the money to pay off his wife's $48,000 tax debt — something Ramsey advised he do immediately to avoid penalties and any undue stress as the baby approaches.
"There's no discounting with the IRS," he said. "They're made whole 100% of the time."
And he's not exaggerating. The IRS institutes a "failure to pay" penalty of 0.5% of the amount owed for each month it remains unpaid — an interest rate that can go as high as 25% in some cases (2). That, in theory, could mean anywhere between $240 and $12,000 in penalties per month on $48,000 worth of back taxes. The IRS can also garnish wages to get what they're owed (3).
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The bigger issue for Ramsey, however, is ensuring something like this major nondisclosure doesn't happen again. Especially considering the couple will be under more pressure once their baby arrives in just a few weeks.
"Financial problems are never the problem. They're always a symptom of something else going on," he said, adding that Jerry needs to initiate a conversation "without you shaming her or yelling at her" to get to the root of the cause of his wife's debt.
Ramsey noted that it could be related to past familial trauma around discussing finances. Research has also shown that struggling to pay bills, erratic spending and an inability to engage in proper financial management can be symptomatic of mental health struggles (4).
Still, "it's not $500, it's $50,000. That's not an oops," Ramsey said. "It's bothering me. And … with a baby coming in two months. Wow."
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How couples can avoid unwelcome financial surprises
Most experts agree that, when dealing with financial issues between couples, talking it out calmly, honestly and without judgement — as Ramsey noted — is a great start. The host recommended giving it until a few months after the baby's born before initiating the conversation.
This, of course, could feel like an awkward talk, but a recent study found that couples who dreaded conversations about money actually discovered that they went better than expected, and that the partners felt closer afterward.
For couples who need more than just a one-on-one, a certified therapist or marriage counselor — which Ramsey also suggested — is an ideal option to help ensure you're both hearing and understanding each other and working toward common goals.
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Cohost Ken Coleman added that "if you guys aren't already doing combined finances, that needs to happen today" to maintain transparency across the board.
Experts also recommend couples sharing financial goals should do their best to stay on track (5), stick to budgets and curb unhealthy spending habits. They should also automate payments and savings contributions so that essential bills are always covered and their nest egg grows (6).
It's also important for married couples to remember that many states consider debt to be shared, meaning that if one partner digs a financial hole, both can be held liable — even if you've since broken up.
Perhaps most importantly, though, maintaining trust between partners could mean the difference between a relationship that remains rich, or one that goes bust.
"It's not about the money. It's about 'you don't trust me,'" Dr. Doug Weiss, a psychologist and executive director of the Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, said while addressing financial infidelity. "Although trust has been damaged, it doesn't have to break the relationship (7)."
Article Sources
We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our ethics and guidelines.
The Ramsey Show Highlights/YouTube (1); IRS (2); Consumer Affairs (3); Money and Mental Health Policy Institute (4); IG Wealth Management (5); SmartAsset (6); Dr. Doug Weiss/YouTube (7)
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Mike Crisolago is a Staff Reporter at Moneywise with more than 15 years of experience in the journalism industry as a writer, editor, content strategist and podcast host. His work has appeared in various Canadian print and digital publications including Zoomer magazine, Quill & Quire and Canadian Family, among others. He’s also served as a mentor to students in Centennial College’s journalism program.
