How much is enough? One soon-to-be-engaged couple stole the spotlight earlier this month by asking the ring question in front of a live audience.
Hannah, 27, asked the hosts of The Ramsey Show how much her boyfriend should spend on an engagement ring. To get to the bottom of things, the hosts summoned her boyfriend, Jeff, to the stage. Jeff told the hosts he’d heard it was normal to spend 2-3 months of salary on a ring.
The show hosts didn’t like that. Host Ken Coleman called the rule “artificial.” The panel dismissed the claim as marketing drummed up by the diamond industry. Rachel Cruze, daughter of financial expert Dave Ramsey, suggested couples focus on big ticket purchases instead.
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Why the 2-3 month salary rule may be fool’s gold
Hosts called the 2-3 month salary rule “marketing,” claiming it comes from the diamond industry.
The rule dates back to a 1930s ad campaign by diamond company De Beers. BBC documents how De Beers was rocked by a Depression-era sales slump, so to drum up sales, De Beers launched a campaign designed to link diamond spending to one’s salary. The idea was to make it normal for couples to spend a one, two, three months’ salary on rings.
Regardless of whether De Beers is solely responsible for the current state of things, rings remain a significant expense for couples. A study by The Knot reveals the average cost of an engagement ring is $5,200, and almost two-thirds of respondents say they spent less than $6,000 for their purchase. That’s about one month of the average American salary.
Many couples think a ring is worth going into debt over. One study by fintech SoFi and wedding planning company Zola revealed almost 25% of those surveyed went into debt to buy an engagement ring.
The Ramsey panel didn’t dismiss salary entirely. Cruze called what someone makes per month a “good gauge” of what’s reasonable. What she disliked: the rigid 2-3 months rule. She also suggested the couple avoid debt by paying in cash.
Jeff told The Ramsey Show hosts he was debt-free.
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One expert endorses a bucket strategy
Cruze suggested the couple put all the money into one “bowl” and divvy by priorities. Three expenses she flagged: the wedding, honeymoon, and mortgage down payment.
Weddings cost a significant chunk of cash. A recent survey by The Knot shows the average wedding costs couples around $34,200. International destination weddings tended to cost significantly more — couples who married in hometowns averaged about $10,000 in relative savings.
Although honeymoons tend to be cheaper, they remain big-budget items. The Knot estimates the average 2024 honeymoon cost couples $5,300. Between weddings and honeymoons, a couple could shell out nearly $40,000.
One might be forgiven for cutting down on ring expenses to help fund a nice wedding dress, or vice versa.
Many couples moving in together have an even bigger expense to wrestle: the dreaded down payment. The National Association of Realtors pinned the median down payment for first-time homebuyers in 2024 was 9%. On a $400,000 starter home, that’s $36,000.
One takeaway for couples may be to keep priorities straight: put the down payment before the ring, and buy the ring in cash. To preserve a bit of mystery, couples might browse rings with partners first. This gives the proposer an idea of what price range and design to shoot for.
Cruze told Hannah it’s okay even if the ring size is a little smaller than expected. “...then in 10 years you can upgrade a ring or in 20 years, right?” the host said.
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Cole Tretheway has been covering money for four years. He started as an intern at The Motley Fool Money, covering best-of credit cards, savings accounts, and financial products. He's since expanded into wholistic personal finances, including the psychology of money.
