May 30, 2025
The death of a spouse is devastating under any circumstances. But, what happens if your spouse who passed away was also the breadwinner for your family of seven, including five children?
When this type of tragic incident occurs, survivors left behind can find their whole life changed.
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Now, imagine that you are the surviving spouse. You have a disability, with a $1,500 monthly benefit and you own a home that you owe $220,000 on. And, your basic monthly bills (not including expenses like food, transportation and health care) are $3,320.
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You'd probably be panicking about your financial future in this situation, and rightly so. The big question is, what can you do to ensure that you and your children are provided for and the bills get paid?
Take stock of your situation
The first thing to do in this situation is to determine what your finances look like based on what your spouse left behind.
Look to see if your husband has a will, and take account of any assets you may have, such as your spouse's workplace 401(k), life insurance policies, bank accounts and investment accounts.
Hopefully, you and your spouse communicated about these issues, and you know where to look. If not, you may have to contact financial institutions, look at your spouse's computer history and email to see if you can find statements and use the National Association of Insurance Commissioners (NAIC) life insurance policy locator.
In most cases, the estate will need to go through probate to officially transfer certain property and assets. A legal aid attorney may be able to help you through this process if you can't afford a lawyer otherwise. If you were a joint owner on any assets, though, you should be able to access those right away.
With luck, your spouse left something behind that can help you to make ends meet in this difficult situation. Depending on the equity in your home, you may also be able to downsize to something less expensive while freeing up cash you can invest to produce income to live on.
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Claim available benefits
If your spouse left behind limited resources, the next step is to try to claim any benefits that may be available to you.
This can include survivor benefits from Social Security. These benefits are available to surviving spouses who are raising minor children, as well as to kids under the age of 17 or kids under the age of 19 if they are still in school. If any of the children have a disability, these benefits can be available at any age.
With your limited financial resources, you will likely be eligible for other government benefits as well. These can include:
- Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) benefits.
- Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) benefits.
- Medicaid health insurance coverage.
Other benefits, such as utility assistance programs and reduced property taxes, may also be on offer. Check Benefits.gov and search your state's assistance programs to see what is available. These benefits can help you to make ends meet.
Consider working in some capacity
After the death of a breadwinning spouse, it normally would make sense for you to go back to work. However, that may not be the case if you have a disability, because earning too much money could affect your eligibility for disability and other benefits.
Of course, if you could earn enough to support yourself and your family despite your disability, doing so would be a good idea. If your condition prevents you from doing that, though, then you could end up worse off if you earn too much to get benefits but not enough to meet your needs.
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Still, you can check with the benefits programs you participate in to see how much you are allowed to earn before losing benefits, and check out programs that help with job training and searches for people with a disability.
Take care of yourself in all aspects of your life
Finally, you need to think about creating more stability for yourself in your future — including emotional and financial stability.
Taking steps to become more financially stable, like trying to build an emergency fund and savings, can be a good first step.
You should also make sure to get the emotional support you need after a devastating loss. Check with your local community center, health center, faith group or hospital for support groups that may be available for you and your kids.
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Rebecca Holland is dedicated to creating clear, accessible advice for readers navigating the complexities of money management, investing and financial planning. Her work has been featured in respected publications including the Financial Post, The Globe & Mail, and the Edmonton Journal.
