Mar 5, 2024
In some cases, divorce can lead to financial disaster. But, for others, they can unlock a new life and a fresh start. Forty-five-year-old Jamie from San Antonio, Texas, appeared to be in the latter group.
Her recent divorce bestowed her with 90% of the marital assets. She also already had roughly $650,000 in brokerage accounts and is in a comfortable financial position. However, her volatile relationship with a sex-addicted serial cheater has left her emotionally and mentally scarred.
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She called into The Ramsey Show and expressed her concerns about the future. “You were married to a sociopath who put you in extreme danger by having multiple, multiple sex partners you didn't know about and destroyed the trust and gaslit you the whole way, so you're not crazy,” co-host John Delony told an audibly tearful Jamie.
Here’s why Jamie’s situation is more common than we realize — and why the comment section on YouTube wasn’t always sympathetic to her.
Dealing with addiction
Jamie had dealt with addiction on multiple fronts. Her brother had died of addiction last year, she told the co-hosts, while her husband revealed he was a sex addict. Now, she’s worried about becoming an addict herself, potentially to shopping.
All forms of addiction are relatively common. Two-thirds of Americans surveyed by KFF said that either they, or their family members, have experienced alcohol or drug addiction, homelessness due to addiction, or a drug overdose resulting in an ER visit, hospitalization or death.
In addition, the pandemic increased the perceived risk factors for oniomania — sometimes called compulsive buying disorder or shopping addiction — according to research published in the Practice Innovations journal.
Sex addiction is controversial and not well understood, but roughly 24 million Americans could be classified as having been afflicted with it, according to the Mayo Clinic.
Dealing with various forms of addiction in her life has made Jamie especially anxious. Despite her assets and the fact that she spends only $1,500 while receiving $4,000 a month on a fixed income, she’s still worried about her financial future. “On paper [my financial situation] looks so good… but I’m afraid I’m going to make bad decisions,” she told the co-hosts. “I’m afraid I’m going to become a shopping addict.”
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While the co-hosts were supportive, the reactions in the YouTube comments section were somewhat mixed.
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Mixed reactions
Several commenters focused on the fact that Jamie got an outsized piece of the marital assets after her divorce. “I have no idea why she’s worried about finances,” wrote one person. “650K at 45 years old is enviable. I’d retire today if I had that much.”
“Her ex should be the one crying, not her,” another viewer added.
Meanwhile, some commenters wanted to hear the husband’s side of the story. To be fair, a divorce implies that both sides were considered within a legal framework. Jamie’s home state of Texas is a community property jurisdiction, which usually means assets acquired during a marriage are split equally. However, the exact split depends on several factors, including inheritances.
Although the comment section on YouTube isn’t exactly the best place to look for empathy, some commentators were clearly on Jamie’s side. “Wishing nothing but healing and good things for Jamie,” one viewer wrote.
“I definitely feel for this woman!” wrote another. “I basically did the exact same thing to my ex-wife. It took a lot of work to become a better person, and I don’t know that I blame her for not believing that I am now. I’ll never be able to undo the harm that I did, and the trauma that I caused.”
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Vishesh Raisinghani is a financial journalist covering personal finance, investing and the global economy. He's also the founder of Sharpe Ascension Inc., a content marketing agency focused on investment firms. His work has appeared in Moneywise, Yahoo Finance!, Motley Fool, Seeking Alpha, Mergers & Acquisitions Magazine and Piggybank.
