Jul 26, 2026
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Add us on GoogleFor many parents, there’s no sacrifice too great when it comes to their children’s happiness. In fact, in 2025 65% of parents said they believe they have enough money to fund a comfortable retirement. However, 36% also worry that providing financial support to adult children could impact their financial plan.
Often the support parents offer comes in the form of direct financial gifts, like paying a phone bill. But leaving a family home to a child could also be a wonderful legacy that helps them build wealth. The problem, however, is that property taxes and utility costs have both been rising faster than the overall rate of inflation. That could make hanging onto an expensive home hard.
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Let’s pretend, for example, that Joann has owned a waterfront cottage for the last 28 years. Her son Teddy has fond memories of spending summers there and wants to inherit the cottage someday.
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Joann is feeling pressure to make her son’s dream come true, but she’s also worried about the huge costs she’s facing on a fixed income. So, should she continue to struggle to preserve the legacy of the family cottage or should she downsize and get a less expensive place? Let’s see what the experts say.
Retirement needs to come first
While Joann may want Teddy to have the home in a perfect world, the price of his inheritance should not come at the expense of Joann enjoying her retirement years.
“If a 68-year-old is jeopardizing their own retirement by holding onto the home, then it is probably not worth it,” Maria Kourepenos, a real estate agent at Coldwell Banker Warburg, told Moneywise.
Andrea Wernick, another Coldwell Banker Warburg agent, agreed. “Selling the home could provide the financial security and peace of mind she deserves, while still allowing her to leave the proceeds from the sale to her child as part of the estate,” Wernick told Moneywise.
Since a drop in financial well-being can affect an older adult’s health and lead to faster cognitive decline, the stress of continuing to pay for the house could do real and lasting damage. Joann may also feel trapped and end up resenting her son because she can’t use that money for other things — especially as there are lots of houses, but Joann has just one retirement.
“Retirement should come first,” said Wernick. “Sometimes the greatest gift you can leave your children isn’t the house itself. It’s the financial security that comes from making a smart decision.”
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There could be solutions worth exploring first
While compromising her retirement security should be out of the question, that doesn’t mean Joann needs to put the house on the market tomorrow.
“It makes sense for the family to sit down to discuss the parents’ overall financial well-being,” advised Kourepenos. “Perhaps the child can make a financial commitment to take on some of the expenses.”
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Kourepenos said Joann and Teddy may want to consider an agreement where Teddy shares home costs as an investment in his future inheritance. Joann may want to avoid making Teddy a co-owner during her lifetime, though, as this could reduce the portion of the property eligible for a step-up in basis after her death, potentially increasing future capital gains taxes.
Chuck Czajka, founder of Macro Money Concepts, also suggested asking the child for help, or potentially exploring the idea of a reverse mortgage if the home is Joann’s primary home. And Kourepenos agreed.
“There are various forms of a reverse mortgage,” she explained. “Some can simply be set up as a credit line, allowing the owner to use the funds to pay for any home-related expense they might not otherwise be able to afford.”
Kourepenos explained that with a reverse mortgage, the “balance owed on the property is then paid upon the sale of the home. The child would inherit less, but the home, which might have significant sentimental value attached to it, could still stay in the family.”
Czajka also offered a suggestion as to how the reverse mortgage could get paid. “Upon your death, if there is life insurance, that could be used to pay off the mortgage, and the house could be transferred to your child. If not, the child could apply for a mortgage or pay cash to pay off the reverse mortgage,” he told Moneywise.
These options are all worth looking into, as they allow Joann to keep the home, allow Teddy to contribute to secure his inheritance and keep Joann’s bank account at a comfortable level.
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Christy Bieber has 15 years of experience as a personal finance and legal writer. She has written for many publications including Forbes, Kilplinger, CNN, WSJ, Credit Karma, Insurify and more.
