SC woman fears 87-year-old dad is being manipulated into buying a second home by his girlfriend. Here's what The Ramsey Show says to do before he buys

"I think she's manipulating him," the Columbia resident told hosts Rachel Cruze and George Kamel (1).

Meanwhile, his paid-off, $400,000 home sits occupied by Elizabeth's recently foreclosed sister.

The situation reflects a growing crisis: adult children watching aging parents make financially questionable decisions, sometimes under the influence of romance.

The staggering scope of elder exploitation

As Americans live longer and more seniors date or remarry later in life, adult children are increasingly concerned about financial exploitation, undue influence and sudden changes to estate plans.

Older Americans lose approximately $28.3 billion annually to financial exploitation, according to National Council on Aging research (2). Alarmingly, strangers aren't always responsible. About 60% of elder financial abuse cases involve family members as perpetrators, Nursing Home Abuse Center reports (3). Romantic partners represent a significant portion of that threat, especially when large purchases like real estate are involved.

Financial institutions filed 155,415 elder exploitation reports between June 2022 and June 2023, tied to roughly $27 billion in suspicious activity, Financial Crimes Enforcement Network data shows (6). Yet, only 1 in 44 cases of financial abuse gets reported (4).

Why this decision raises red flags

Elizabeth outlined several concerns. Her father owns his current home outright but refuses to sell because his foreclosed daughter moved in without telling him. The girlfriend rents and "doesn't have the money," Elizabeth said. Her father has become a caretaker for the girlfriend’s health issues.

She fears the decision could jeopardize his financial security and potentially change inheritance plans.

"What if my father passes away and she's living in this house?" Elizabeth asked the cohosts.

Her father had promised her, as his power of attorney and executor, that he'd discuss major financial decisions with her. He broke that promise.

"Cognitive decline also increases vulnerability to undue influence. We've seen cases where new 'friends' or even family members suddenly appear and begin influencing a senior's financial decisions," according to California-based elder law firm, OC Elder Law (5). "This creates painful situations where families must balance protecting their loved one while respecting their independence."

Competent adults can make terrible decisions

Cruze and Kamel delivered the uncomfortable truth: Elizabeth can't stop her father. "He's a grown man," Kamel acknowledged. "You can't stop people from doing dumb things. (1)"

Unless a court declares someone mentally incompetent, adults retain full legal authority over their finances, even when making objectively disastrous choices.