Jan 7, 2025
Dividing an inheritance is rarely straightforward, but in blended families, the stakes and emotions can be particularly high.
On a recent episode of The Ramsey Show, Jared from Phoenix, Arizona called in to discuss whether he should give some of the $3 million inheritance he received from his late father to his stepsister, since she wasn’t happy about being left out of the will. He already built a nest egg of roughly $750,000 for himself, so he felt guilty for denying her money that could potentially help her later in life.
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“She got upset because of the numbers involved,” he said, recounting his stepsister saying: “‘I don’t understand why we can’t all just share?’”
Ramsey had a blunt response: “Because we’re not communists.”
The situation highlights how difficult it can be to manage the expectations of your loved ones even if you have a simple estate plan in place.
Simple plan, complicated emotions
Jared described his father’s estate plan as relatively simple on paper: both he and his brother received $3 million to $4 million each. However, the fact that his stepsiblings have been left out of the will has ignited strong emotions and family drama.
This isn’t unusual — but atleast the direction was clear. You can imagine how tensions might be amplified if there’s no plan to begin with. According to a 2023 survey by LegalShield, nearly 60% of Americans don’t have an estate plan and 58% of people have experienced family disputes due to a lack of a plan.
However, clearly, families can have disputes even when there is a plan. Of those that had wills, 36% of respondents said their will had surprises for their beneficiaries. Assuming some of these are unpleasant surprises, the potential for family drama is high.
Seeking out the help of a professional wills and estates lawyer to proactively prepare a robust estate plan can mitigate some of these issues. But to manage the expectations of your family, you may need to go the extra mile.
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Avoiding family drama
To avoid creating tension within the family over your estate, it makes sense to not just have a plan but also to talk about it with all your loved ones.
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By taking the time to inform your family about your plan and all your reasoning and motivations behind your decisions, you can eliminate any room for ambiguity. Conflicts can be further reduced if you discuss your will not just with your beneficiaries but also with any other family members who may have been excluded.
Unfortunately, 35% of Americans don’t plan on discussing their inheritance plans with their family, according to a 2024 survey by Edward Jones in partnership with NEXT360 Partners and Morning Consult.
Jared’s father presumably did not explain to his stepchildren why he was leaving them out of the will. Without this conversation, the family must now follow what’s outlined on paper, according to Ramsey.
“Dad already clearly said what he wanted to have happen,” he told Jared. Cohost John Delony agreed: “Yes, behavior's a language and he was loud and clear.”
With this in mind, both hosts encouraged him to turn down his stepsister’s request.
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Vishesh Raisinghani is a financial journalist covering personal finance, investing and the global economy. He's also the founder of Sharpe Ascension Inc., a content marketing agency focused on investment firms. His work has appeared in Moneywise, Yahoo Finance!, Motley Fool, Seeking Alpha, Mergers & Acquisitions Magazine and Piggybank.
