Jan 2, 2026
According to a recent Gallup survey, about 40% of American adults have no retirement savings account. For many, this situation is more than just a statistic — it’s a daily reality. (1)
Beth’s mother Joyce is in this predicament. Joyce is 60 years old, works a minimum wage job, and has no retirement savings. She also owes $30,000 in credit card debt and lives with her elderly mother in a home with a reverse mortgage.
Advertisement
Beth is worried that when her grandmother dies, which may happen at any time, the bank will repossess her home, leaving Joyce homeless.
Beth and her husband are financially stable, but they are both only 30 years old and saving up to start a family. They rent their condo but are hoping to buy in the near future.
The combination of their financial commitments and their small home means that they feel unable to support Joyce if the worst should happen and she has nowhere to go. Worse still, they have tried to talk about the future with her, but she avoids the topic.
What can Beth do to help her mother without taking her on as a dependent?
Supporting a parent without risking your own financial future
Beth and her husband want to support Joyce as much as possible, but also to establish healthy boundaries and expectations for how they will be able to help her going forward. They want to be as proactive as possible so that Joyce will have somewhere to go when the time comes.
First, Beth should try to find a time to sit down with her mother where she can speak calmly about planning for the future.
As Joyce is prone to avoiding the topic, Beth may simply want to state how much help, if any, she and her husband can provide. This can include help with planning and research into available government resources, as well as money.
With expectations established, Beth can acknowledge that the topic is emotional for her mother, and say she hopes to pick it up again some other time when Joyce is ready.
Advertisement
While it may seem disloyal, especially if you come from a culture where helping family is expected, taking responsibility for your parents shouldn’t come at the risk of your own financial security.
If you cannot help without suffering, look to other ways of contributing, such as help with planning, driving them to appointments, and so on.
Housing
Finding secure housing for Joyce is the first step to ensuring her independence and financial security.
Beth and her husband have already encouraged Joyce to look into the Section 8 Housing Choice Voucher Program, which offers a voucher to help low-income Americans, along with veterans, disabled persons and the elderly, find safe and affordable private housing.
The program has income eligibility requirements, which Beth and her husband may choose to find more information on in order to help her mother apply. To complete an application, Joyce must meet with her local Public Housing Agency, which she may have to do in person.
The government also offers subsidized housing and public housing options for seniors at both the state and federal level, which Joyce can also explore.
Advertisement
There is also the possibility of Medicaid-based long-term care when Joyce is truly elderly and can no longer care for herself. They may also look into Health Homes, established under the Affordable Care Act, which are covered by Medicaid and available to people who have or are at risk of having two or more chronic health conditions.
Financial support
If Beth and her husband do decide they can somewhat help Joyce financially, it’s important that the decision is one they agree on together. If Beth begins to help her mother without telling her husband, it could breed resentment in their relationship.
Beth may also be worried that her mother isn’t just in a tough financial situation, but actively irresponsible with money. If this is the case, she may make her help conditional — and ask Joyce for access to her bank and credit card statements for a better idea of her finances. She may decide to begin paying down Joyce’s debt, or helping her to set up an emergency fund, or other savings vehicle.
It’s important to note that in more than half of the states, filial responsibility laws legally require adult children to help parents who are financially insecure, though they’re rarely enforced.
Beth could also consider the possibility that inviting her mother to live with them when they do start their family would ensure they had Joyce’s help with child care, and may not need to pay for expensive day care services.
Also, if Beth becomes responsible for more than 50% of Joyce’s expenses, this would legally make her Beth’s dependent, which has tax benefits.
Must Read
- Dave Ramsey warns nearly 50% of Americans are making 1 big Social Security mistake — here’s what it is and the simple steps to fix it ASAP
- Robert Kiyosaki begs investors not to miss this ‘explosion’ — says this 1 asset will surge 400% in a year
- Vanguard reveals what could be coming for U.S. stocks, and it’s raising alarm bells for retirees. Here’s why and how to protect yourself
Join 250,000+ readers and get Moneywise’s best stories and exclusive interviews first — clear insights curated and delivered weekly. Subscribe now.
Prioritize your future
If Beth is hoping to help her mother without risking her financial future, the best plan is to look for ways to support her with access to information on Social Security programs and other public programs that can help her find affordable housing and continue to work.
It’s important to be armed with this information before Joyce’s situation turns into a crisis, so that there are plans in place. With good communication and some forethought, Beth can do her best to both help her mother and manage any feelings of guilt.
Article sources
We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.
Gallup (1).
You May Also Like
- Turning 50 with $0 saved for retirement? Most people don’t realize they’re actually just entering their prime earning decade. Here are 6 ways to catch up fast
- This 20-year-old lotto winner refused $1M in cash and chose $1,000/week for life. Now she’s getting slammed for it. Which option would you pick?
- Warren Buffett used these 8 repeatable money rules to turn $9,800 into a $150B fortune. Start using them today to get rich (and stay rich)
- Here are 5 easy ways to own multiple properties like Bezos and Beyoncé. You can start with $10 (and no, you don’t have to manage a single thing)
Rebecca Holland is dedicated to creating clear, accessible advice for readers navigating the complexities of money management, investing and financial planning. Her work has been featured in respected publications including the Financial Post, The Globe & Mail, and the Edmonton Journal.
