The data shows that the younger generations may be left disappointed when the time comes to claim their inheritance — and it can be especially hard for younger people who have to watch their inheritance slip away.
For example, say Ursula inherited her late mother’s house and plans to sell it, which should net her $500,000. Ursula plans to use the proceeds to take nice vacations and to enjoy her retirement hobbies, but her two children, Jameson and Kylee, want her to pay off their student loan debt. Should Ursula pony up the cash, or is she right to want to use her own inheritance for fun?
Ursula has the right to spend the cash
First things first. Most experts agree that Ursula absolutely has the right to spend the money as she sees fit.
“It’s her house,” David Kassir, managing director of private wealth management at Manna Wealth Management, told Moneywise. “She doesn’t need permission to enjoy her own inheritance, and her kids are adults.”
Saba Harouni Lurie, a licensed therapist and founder of Take Root Therapy, echoed that sentiment, telling Moneywise, “Wanting to enjoy your life on your terms is not selfish. Many parents, mothers especially, spend decades putting everyone else first and often wrestle with guilt when they put themselves and their needs first.”
Kassir suggested that Ursula think carefully about what she wants, then be firm in her decision and communicate clearly.
“If it was my client sitting across from me, I would tell her to decide what she wants before she talks to anyone, then say it to her kids directly, in person, once,” he said. “She may still get pushback. Fine. Families get over a clear no said with love. They don’t get over feeling blindsided.”
She should consider the impact on her relationship with her kids
Although Ursula can spend the $500,000 from the sale of the home, she should also consider what her choice says about her and how it could affect her in the long run.
“Rather than beginning with what a loving parent should do, I would encourage the parent to consider what they want, what they can responsibly afford and what decision would be consistent with their values,” Ilona Phillips, a relationship therapist and founder of Lotus Consulting, told Moneywise.
