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Man undergoing chemotherapy stares out window. Kunlanan Yarist/Shutterstock

My father-in-law, 73, has cancer, secretly drained his retirement savings, and hasn’t been paid in 2 years — he has $250K left on a mortgage and medical bills are piling up. What do we do?

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This is especially true for a serious illness like cancer, which can be costly to treat even with insurance. Since cancer can often make working difficult, things can become even more complicated if you don't have income coming in.

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Suppose your father-in-law, who is in cancer treatment, drained his retirement accounts because he was scared, in denial or trying to hide the fact he wasn't bringing in money so he could pretend with his family that living the same lifestyle was possible.

Whatever the reason, he's made life harder for the rest of the family now.

Add to the dilemma a mortgage that has a $250,000 balance, on top of the mounting medical bills. Your father-in-law has no earning prospects and the situation is dire.

The good news is that you do have some options to try to help your in-laws get back on track. Here's what you can do.

Be proactive about dealing with medical debt

Dealing with the medical bills from the cancer care should be one of the first things you do as eliminating some of this debt can make your in-law's situation easier.

The good news is that there are many ways to potentially reduce the bills you're stuck with for the cost of his care. For example, you could:

*Try to negotiate the bills down by offering to pay less *Hire a medical advocate to try to reduce your bills if you can't negotiate on your own *Ask care providers about an affordable payment plan *Appeal any insurance denials of care that have left you with bills *Reach out to charitable organizations or senior organizations to see if they can help

The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau finalized a rule in January of 2025 that prevents medical bills from being included on credit reports and prohibits lenders from using medical information in their lending decisions so your father-in-law's credit won't be damaged if you negotiate a deal to pay less than the amount owed.

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Consider a reverse mortgage or selling the house

If the retirement accounts are drained, your inlaws will need to find money somewhere to pay off any medical bills that you can't negotiate, and to live on.

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If they owe only $250,000 on their mortgage, they may have equity in the home that they can cash in. They could potentially sell the house, downsize to a new home they buy in cash, and use any extra proceeds to refill the drained retirement accounts.

This would likely work only if they could avoid taking out a mortgage at today's high rates, as borrowing at upwards of 6.00% would likely make it hard for them to drop their payments much, if at all.

They could potentially also use a reverse mortgage to access some of their home equity to help with their financial issues. Reverse mortgages sometimes are costly so you'd need to look carefully at the details. Still, this could be a good option that would allow them to remain in their home and still generate some extra funds to live on.

Seek out help

You should also look into the help that may be available for your in-laws. You can explore local charitable groups that help seniors cover care costs, reach out to medical advocates who help seniors deal with bills, or see if your inlaws qualify for other benefits such as Supplemental Security Income for seniors and disabled individuals.

Benefits.gov can be a good resource for starting your benefits search, or you can reach out to your local Department of Aging to find out what help and support may be available in your location.

Unfortunately, your in-laws are in a tough situation. Being as proactive as possible to help them can go a long way towards enabling them to dig out of their financial mess and get on a firmer footing.

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Christy Bieber Freelance Writer

Christy Bieber has 15 years of experience as a personal finance and legal writer. She has written for many publications including Forbes, Kilplinger, CNN, WSJ, Credit Karma, Insurify and more.

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