Sep 19, 2024
Gabriel, a 23-year-old from Atlanta, shared a heart-wrenching discovery on a recent episode of “The Ramsey Show.” After just three months of marriage, his wife confessed she has $70,000 in debt from her previous marriage. This includes medical bills, a repossessed car, another auto loan for her current car, and credit cards. Until recently, he was only aware of the $12,000 she owed on her current car.
"Sounds like a country song!" said host Dave Ramsey laughing when he heard that a dog bought with the borrowed funds had died.
Advertisement
“I don’t know what to do, sir. She wants to file bankruptcy and I’m freaking out,” the young man said.
Thanks for subscribing!
Read the best of Moneywise in 5 minutes or less.
By signing up, you accept Moneywise Terms of Use, Subscription Agreement, and Privacy Policy.
Fortunately, the financial guru had an easy fix: get rid of the car and negotiate with lenders on all the other debt to pay it off for “10 to 15 cents on the dollar.”
Ramsey’s bigger concern was the breach of trust and the future of their relationship.
Financial infidelity
Gabriel’s situation is far from rare. In fact, Ramsey says he has plenty of experience with similar situations. “In our world, we call this financial infidelity where a wife or a husband hides and lies about money to their spouse,” he explained. “It’s a breach of trust. Some say it’s the same or even worse than sexual infidelity.”
Among U.S. adults who have ever combined finances in a current or past relationship, 43% have committed at least one financial deception, according to a poll by the National Endowment for Financial Education (NEFE). The majority of those stated that the indiscretion affected the relationship in some way.
Put simply, the chances of your spouse or partner hiding parts of their financial lives is quite high. And it’s not limited to debt, partners may avoid revealing their true income, excess savings, spending habits like gambling, or windfalls from inheritances.
Must Read
- The ultra-rich use these 5 real estate strategies to build wealth while they sleep — you can start with just $100
- Here’s the average income of Americans by age in 2026. Are you keeping up or falling behind?
- Insurance companies profit most from drivers who auto-renew without shopping around. Comparing 100+ quotes takes 2 minutes and costs nothing
Join 250,000+ readers and get Moneywise’s best stories and exclusive interviews first — clear insights curated and delivered weekly. Subscribe now.
Sweeping money issues under the rug
Regardless of whether the financial infidelity is related to saving, spending or debt, discovering this breach of trust could be detrimental to a relationship.
“When you comingle finances in a relationship, you’re consenting to cooperation and transparency in your money management. Regardless of the severity of the act, financial infidelity can cause tremendous strain on couples — it leads to arguments, a breakdown of trust, and in some cases, separation or even divorce,” said Billy Hensley, Ph.D., president and CEO of NEFE.
Financial guru Ramit Sethi has shared examples of divorces that were ignited by financial infidelity.
A 2011 study suggested that opposites tend to attract when it comes to certain spending tendencies — tightwads and spendthrifts tend to marry each other and these “differences within a marriage predict conflict over finances, which in turn predicts diminished marital well-being.”
Ramsey told Gabriel that what his wife did was a "breach of trust" that some consider even worse than sexual infidelity. He advised him to go to marriage counselling at their church.
You May Also Like
- JP Morgan sees gold hitting $6,000/oz before 2027 — and a Gold IRA lets you hold the physical metal while deferring the tax bill. Get your free guide from Priority Gold
- Dave Ramsey warns nearly 50% of Americans are making 1 big Social Security mistake — here’s what it is and the simple steps to fix it ASAP
- Thanks to Jeff Bezos, you can now become a landlord for as little as $100 — and no, you don't have to deal with tenants or fix freezers. Here's how
- Millionaires under 43 are reshaping investing — just 25% of their portfolios are in stocks. Here’s where their money is going
Vishesh Raisinghani is a financial journalist covering personal finance, investing and the global economy. He's also the founder of Sharpe Ascension Inc., a content marketing agency focused on investment firms. His work has appeared in Moneywise, Yahoo Finance!, Motley Fool, Seeking Alpha, Mergers & Acquisitions Magazine and Piggybank.
