Consider a scenario in which a 22-year-old college graduate’s mother is a well-to-do dentist and his father a prosperous lawyer. They once claimed they were strapped for cash, pushing their son to juggle scholarships, work-study hours and student loans.
Only after he graduated did he discover the truth: His parents had ample savings all along. Now he feels betrayed, burdened by debt, and furious that the lesson they wanted him to learn came at the cost of honesty.
What they did right
The crux of this drama involves the skyrocketing expense of higher education, the question of how far parents should go to teach “financial responsibility,” and the collateral damage when deception creeps into family life. Some might sympathize with the parents’ desire for their child to understand the weight of financial obligations; others would view the lie as an inexcusable violation of trust.
Ultimately, the fallout suggests that keeping a child in the dark might achieve a short-term goal but also inflict long-term harm on the relationship.
From a practical standpoint, insisting a college-age child pay for all or part of an expensive education can offer valuable lessons. The College Board says private university tuition routinely surpasses $40,000 per year, prompting many parents to worry about raising kids who aren’t financially grounded.
By having to handle federal loans, private loans, or a heavy work-study schedule, the student in this scenario might have become more diligent about time management and budgeting.
A 2018 EVERFI survey of over 104,000 incoming college students from more than 410 institutions revealed a general lack of financial knowledge, skills, and future planning among young adults in higher education. Helping a student navigate loan paperwork, interest rates, and repayment timelines can close that knowledge gap.
This approach to tuition — making the student cover a chunk of expenses — can foster a sense of ownership over one’s education. Parents might believe that children who invest their own money and labor into their schooling will value it more, finish on time, and hustle for scholarships and grants they might otherwise overlook. In theory, teaching independence and grit can be a meaningful gift that lasts well beyond college.
