Mar 13, 2025
After 10 years of marriage, it can be hard to find new ways to surprise your spouse.
But as some couples would tell you, that might not be such a bad thing. Especially when the well-kept secret has to do with money.
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For one wife, it took a decade of marriage before her husband came clean: he’s dug himself into a hole of $50,000 in credit card debt and he doesn’t know how to get out. Now, in addition to dealing with how this may impact their relationship, the wife is wondering — rather, stressing — about the legal and financial implications for her personally.
What does it really mean when someone married for, say, 10 years wasn’t aware of their husband owing over $50,000 to creditors?
With the average American credit card debt hovering around around $6,600 in the final quarter of 2024, this predicament is, unfortunately, more common than it might seem.
How do we tackle this?
While many couples take a “what’s mine is yours, and vice versa” approach to finances, that’s a choice they make together. And so much depends on your husband’s attitude here. If he’s contrite and this is your first issue in 10 years, you might handle this very differently than if he’s been known to hide things from you.
You may decide to take on the debt as a couple. In which case, keep in mind that credit card debt is among the country’s most expensive forms of debt. You may want to explore consolidating your debt with a lower-interest loan. And you’ll probably need to have a few frank conversations to get back on the same page when it comes to spending.
While having those discussions, you may find it helps to review your credit reports. These documents can be helpful in identifying spending patterns that you can potentially get in front of before they get out of hand.
Your husband may also want to consider credit counseling. A reputable credit counselor can not only help you make a plan to get out of debt, but they should also be able to connect you with free educational resources and advice on managing your money.
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The Federal Trade Commission also offers some tips that may be helpful.
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What are my rights and responsibilities?
But maybe things aren’t so straightforward or simple. If you’re worried your husband is drowning in debt and might try to take you down with him, you’ll want to find out how your state handles financial responsibilities differently when it comes to marriage. Divorce or the death of a spouse can impact this, too.
Most states fall under “common law,” meaning a spouse’s assets and debts belong to them alone unless both parties are named as owners. In the case of credit card debt, both spouses would be responsible for all debt incurred on an account in both names or on one that was co-signed by both parties, regardless of who did the spending.
On the other hand, if a credit card is in one spouse’s name, the other isn’t liable for that debt. That being said, creditors seeking repayment do have the right to collect it through any joint assets (such as a property).
Nine states (Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington and Wisconsin) use "community property" law. Under this law, all assets and debts acquired by either spouse during the marriage, including wages, are deemed to belong to both parties. Exceptions include inheritance and assets protected by a prenuptial agreement or acquired before the marriage.
This means that if a creditor seeks payment for debts arising during marriage, they can claim it through both party's community, or joint, property. This also applies to debt incurred by either spouse before the marriage.
Ultimately, of course, it’s best to get clarity from a legal professional in your state about your specific situation.
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With a writing and editing career spanning over 13 years, Emma creates and refines content across a broad spectrum of industries, including personal finance, lifestyle, travel, health & wellness, real estate, beauty & fitness and B2B/SaaS/tech. Her versatility comes through contributions to high-profile clients like Moneywise, Healthline, Narcity and Bob Vila, producing content that informs and engages, along with helping book authors tell their stories.
