‘Are we wrong to ask them for help?’: Texas man wants to know if adult kids owe their parents for raising them. Dave Ramsey responds

However, with economic pressures mounting, many Americans are leaning on members of their families for financial support.

Supporting elderly parents

Financially supporting your elderly parents isn’t unusual. Nearly 32% of middle-aged adults said they’re offering financial assistance to their elderly parents. In comparison, 42% said they expect to do so in the future, according to a 2020 American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) survey.

Meanwhile, 55% of Americans surveyed by Pew Research in 2023 said they have either a “great deal” or a “fair amount” of responsibility to provide financial assistance to an elderly parent in need.

Given the statistics, Robert’s expectation of financial assistance might not be unreasonable. However, 12% of adults surveyed by Pew said adults have little to no responsibility to assist their parents financially and Dave Ramsey is part of this cohort.

Ramsey’s philosophy

Robert’s letter emphasized his children quoting Dave Ramsey when it comes to helping parents financially, “‘Well Dad, Dave Ramsey says, to allow you to sink or swim because your debt is your obligation. Are we wrong to ask them for help or are they interpreting your advice incorrectly?”

Ramsey admonished Robert for paying his adult children’s phone bills, and described his letter to the show as “dripping with disgusting entitlement.” He made it clear that if his children did not want to financially support him, they were under no obligation to do so, adding that children “are not in debt to you because you fed them”.

“That’s not how life works, buddy,” he told Robert. “Charity that is extracted through guilt is not charity. If your children want to be charitable towards you and give you something, that’s wonderful … But not because Mom and Dad think they’re entitled to their money.”