• Discounts and special offers
  • Subscriber-only articles and interviews
  • Breaking news and trending topics

Already a subscriber?

By signing up, you accept Moneywise's Terms of Use, Subscription Agreement, and Privacy Policy.

Not interested ?

Supporting elderly parents

Financially supporting your elderly parents isn’t unusual. Nearly 32% of middle-aged adults said they’re offering financial assistance to their elderly parents. In comparison, 42% said they expect to do so in the future, according to a 2020 American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) survey.

Meanwhile, 55% of Americans surveyed by Pew Research in 2023 said they have either a “great deal” or a “fair amount” of responsibility to provide financial assistance to an elderly parent in need.

Given the statistics, Robert’s expectation of financial assistance might not be unreasonable. However, 12% of adults surveyed by Pew said adults have little to no responsibility to assist their parents financially and Dave Ramsey is part of this cohort.

Meet your retirement goals effortlessly

The road to retirement may seem long, but with WiserAdvisor, you can find a trusted partner to guide you every step of the way

WiserAdvisor matches you with vetted financial advisors that offer personalized advice to help you to make the right choices, invest wisely, and secure the retirement you've always dreamed of. Start planning early, and get your retirement mapped out today.

Get Started

Ramsey’s philosophy

Robert’s letter emphasized his children quoting Dave Ramsey when it comes to helping parents financially, “‘Well Dad, Dave Ramsey says, to allow you to sink or swim because your debt is your obligation. Are we wrong to ask them for help or are they interpreting your advice incorrectly?”

Ramsey admonished Robert for paying his adult children’s phone bills, and described his letter to the show as “dripping with disgusting entitlement.” He made it clear that if his children did not want to financially support him, they were under no obligation to do so, adding that children “are not in debt to you because you fed them”.

“That’s not how life works, buddy,” he told Robert. “Charity that is extracted through guilt is not charity. If your children want to be charitable towards you and give you something, that’s wonderful … But not because Mom and Dad think they’re entitled to their money.”

Rachel Cruze, Ramsey’s co-host and daughter, had a more nuanced take. She said she believes the decision to assist your elderly parents depends on individual circumstances, family culture, relationships and maturity.

“There are so many elements of it that can go quickly one way or the other,” she said.

How to navigate this tricky situation

For those navigating a similar situation, author and financial expert Ramit Sethi offered his advice on his website.

He suggested that adults who are considering assisting their elderly parents should have an open and honest conversation to fully understand their financial situation. They should also ensure their finances are robust before offering help and set boundaries for their financial assistance so that their parents can use the cash boost to lower debt and make their financial situation sustainable over the long term.

Put simply, financial assistance should be empowering not enabling.

“Helping your parents get out of debt can be challenging, but it’s also a powerful opportunity to strengthen your relationship and secure a brighter financial future,” he said.

Sponsored

This 2 minute move could knock $500/year off your car insurance in 2024

OfficialCarInsurance.com lets you compare quotes from trusted brands, such as Progressive, Allstate and GEICO to make sure you're getting the best deal.

You can switch to a more affordable auto insurance option in 2 minutes by providing some information about yourself and your vehicle and choosing from their tailor-made results. Find offers as low as $29 a month.

Vishesh Raisinghani Freelance Writer

Vishesh Raisinghani is a freelance contributor at MoneyWise. He has been writing about financial markets and economics since 2014 - having covered family offices, private equity, real estate, cryptocurrencies, and tech stocks over that period. His work has appeared in Seeking Alpha, Motley Fool Canada, Motley Fool UK, Mergers & Acquisitions, National Post, Financial Post, and Yahoo Canada.

Disclaimer

The content provided on Moneywise is information to help users become financially literate. It is neither tax nor legal advice, is not intended to be relied upon as a forecast, research or investment advice, and is not a recommendation, offer or solicitation to buy or sell any securities or to adopt any investment strategy. Tax, investment and all other decisions should be made, as appropriate, only with guidance from a qualified professional. We make no representation or warranty of any kind, either express or implied, with respect to the data provided, the timeliness thereof, the results to be obtained by the use thereof or any other matter. Advertisers are not responsible for the content of this site, including any editorials or reviews that may appear on this site. For complete and current information on any advertiser product, please visit their website.