Jun 16, 2026
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Add us on GoogleNothing in life is truly free. Not even a gift from family.
May and her fiancé learned that lesson while planning their wedding. Just days before the ceremony, her future in-laws surprised them with $10,000 to help cover costs. With nearly $50,000 already spent and credit card bills mounting, the couple accepted the money.
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But it soon became clear the gift came with strings attached.
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May’s future father-in-law insisted on building a chuppah, a traditional wedding canopy used in Jewish ceremonies. Neither May nor her fiancé is religious, but they felt obligated to go along with it.
“Now they’ve given us a check,” May told The Cut. “So we felt like, ‘Oh, no, we have this obligation to acquiesce.’”
That, however, was only the beginning of the demands.
The growing demands
May says her future father-in-law also pushed to change the backyard wedding layout and insisted on giving a speech, despite never having been particularly supportive of the relationship.
But the breaking point came when he stood up during the reception and delivered a 30-slide PowerPoint presentation explaining how the couple’s April 20 wedding date (better known as 4/20) became associated with cannabis culture.
That’s when it clicked. “He didn’t really want to give that money as a gift,” May says. “He used it as leverage.”
May’s experience comes at a time when weddings are becoming an increasingly expensive milestone. According to The Knot’s 2026 Real Weddings Study, the average U.S. wedding cost reached $34,200 for couples who married in 2025.
As costs rise, many couples are turning to credit cards and loans to bridge the gap. A LendingTree survey found that 67% of newlyweds took on debt to pay for their wedding.
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Not making the same mistake twice
May’s experience reflects a broader reality facing many young adults today. As housing costs, student debt and everyday expenses continue to rise, more Americans are relying on financial help from their parents well into adulthood.
Young adults today are reaching major milestones later than previous generations, and many are carrying more debt along the way. A Pew Research Center report found that most still rely on their parents for some financial support, whether that’s help with rent, cell phone bills or other household costs.
That financial support can sometimes make family relationships more complicated. According to a Charles Schwab survey, nearly 20% of gifts from parents come with strings attached. And even when no conditions are spelled out, receiving a large gift can leave people feeling obligated to go along with the giver’s wishes.
For May, the ordeal changed the way she thinks about accepting money from family. She and her husband have already dreamed up a vow renewal in the south of France for their fifth anniversary. But unlike their wedding, there won’t be any financial contributions from her in-laws or any invitations sent their way.
“Absolutely h— no,” she said. “I don’t want to feel like I owe them anything.”
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Victoria Vesovski is a Toronto-based staff reporter at Moneywise covering personal finance, lifestyle and trending news. She holds degrees from the University of Toronto and New York University, and her work has appeared on platforms including Yahoo Finance, MSN Money and Apple News.
