Her in-laws paid $10,000 for the wedding — then 'used it as leverage’ to add religion and cannabis jokes to the ceremony

But it soon became clear the gift came with strings attached.

May’s future father-in-law insisted on building a chuppah, a traditional wedding canopy used in Jewish ceremonies. Neither May nor her fiancé is religious, but they felt obligated to go along with it.

“Now they’ve given us a check,” May told The Cut. “So we felt like, ‘Oh, no, we have this obligation to acquiesce.’”

That, however, was only the beginning of the demands.

The growing demands

May says her future father-in-law also pushed to change the backyard wedding layout and insisted on giving a speech, despite never having been particularly supportive of the relationship.

But the breaking point came when he stood up during the reception and delivered a 30-slide PowerPoint presentation explaining how the couple’s April 20 wedding date (better known as 4/20) became associated with cannabis culture.

That’s when it clicked. “He didn’t really want to give that money as a gift,” May says. “He used it as leverage.”

May’s experience comes at a time when weddings are becoming an increasingly expensive milestone. According to The Knot’s 2026 Real Weddings Study, the average U.S. wedding cost reached $34,200 for couples who married in 2025.

As costs rise, many couples are turning to credit cards and loans to bridge the gap. A LendingTree survey found that 67% of newlyweds took on debt to pay for their wedding.