‘You’ve got to have your own life’: Steve Harvey once said ‘every couple’ should use separate bank accounts — but George Kamel says a joint account makes your marriage stronger. Who’s right?

Lack of transparency

Kamel’s biggest issue with separate bank accounts in relationships is the lack of transparency.

“Zero visibility into what your spouse is spending doesn’t get rid of your marriage problems. It just sweeps them under the rug for a little while,” he says. Eventually, this secrecy around finances could lead to “financial infidelity” and conflict, according to him.

A whopping 42% of adults who are either married or living with a partner admit to keeping financial secrets from their partner, according to a 2024 Bankrate survey. Roughly 28% of respondents also said that such secrets, or financial infidelity, was as bad as physical infidelity.

To avoid the issue, Kamel recommends having joint bank accounts and assigning individual spending budgets within that account.

“If you and your spouse disagree on how you’re spending your budget, instead of turning a blind eye to it and developing an eye-twitch every time they ask you to pick up almond milk at the store, actually have a real-life conversation about it like married adults,” he said.

However, this approach isn’t necessarily the norm. A reported 43% of U.S. couples have only joint bank accounts, according to Bankrate. While baby boomer couples are more likely to have exclusively joint accounts (49%), younger couples are less likely to completely share finances, as only 31% of millennial couples hold all joint accounts.

But recent research suggests the “separate finances” trend could be leading to lower satisfaction in relationships.

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Sharing financial responsibility can be healthier

A study, entitled "Common Cents: Bank Account Structure and Couples' Relationship Dynamics," published in the Journal of Consumer Research followed engaged and recently-married couples for two years to track their level of happiness with joint accounts compared to those with separate accounts.

The data suggests a positive correlation between relationship satisfaction levels and merged finances. Put simply, couples with joint accounts were more satisfied with their relationship over the long term.

Given all the research on relationship satisfaction and financial infidelity, Kamel’s fully-transparent, fully-integrated approach might be better for couples who are seeking to build a solid foundation of communication around money. Though, Harvey’s approach accounts for each person’s natural need for individuality and autonomy when spending.

There will always be variation with what works from one couple to the next. But Kamel makes a point worth noting: “Accountability actually makes your marriage stronger, not worse.”