Feb 8, 2025
In any committed relationship, talking about money should seem like a no-brainer. Money influences every major decision, from where you live and how you spend, to whether you merge bank accounts and when you choose to start a family. Yet, it remains an uncomfortable and often avoided conversation for many Americans.
According to a 2024 Ipsos poll, 79% of Americans believe finances should be discussed early in a relationship. The longer the money talk is delayed, the harder it can be to figure out where to start.
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But there are ways to simplify what can feel like an overwhelming conversation.
Ramit Sethi, author of Money for Couples, narrows it down to four key numbers.
“What are our four key numbers?” Sethi said in a recent interview with Moneywise. “Our fixed costs, our savings rate, our investment rate and our guilt-free spending rate.”
If discussed openly and early on in a relationship, these numbers can act as a roadmap to help couples align their financial goals.
How much do we really have?
When your paycheck hits your bank account at the start of the month, knowing exactly where it’s going is important. It all begins with fixed expenses – the non-negotiables in your budget. These include things like rent, car payments or gym memberships – the monthly costs that stay consistent.
Once you and your partner have determined your fixed monthly costs, it’s essential to consider your savings rate. Sethi says it’s important for couples to have a conscious spending plan that accounts for debt. This may involve creating a timeline for meeting certain financial milestones.
“If we have debt, what is the exact month and year our debt will be paid off?” Sethi suggested asking.
At the same time, asking the right questions may only get some couples so far. According to a Fidelity Couples and Money Study, one in five couples identify money as their greatest challenge in a relationship.
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One way to make these money conversations feel less like a struggle is to find a common motive. Having a savings plan as a couple offers security and a way to work towards your goals with intention and assurance. Saving doesn’t have to feel like a chore or just another way of stashing away your hard-earned money for the sake of it. Instead, it can be a way for you to enjoy things like a dream vacation you can experience together.
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What about investments?
One classic rule of thumb is to save 20% of every paycheck. It’s part of the popular 50-30-20 budgeting strategy: allocate 50% of your income to essentials, 30% to wants and 20% to savings and investments.
If you and your partner are on the same page about the 20% investment goal, the rest becomes much simpler. You might decide to put your money into the S&P 500, explore real estate investment trusts (REITs) or other alternative investments. Whatever you choose, working together on these investments can turn shared financial goals into a safety net for retirement.
But financial planning isn’t all about restraint. As Sethi pointed out, “Money can be a source of joy and connection.”
This is especially true when it comes to the guilt-free spending rate. This number is where couples can embrace splurging on what they desire most — after taking care of the other numbers first, of course.
Whether it’s a personal item, like a designer handbag, tickets to a concert you both love or a weekend getaway to celebrate an anniversary, these can be moments where spending isn’t just transactional but meaningful.
With the right balance of saving, investing and guilt-free spending, you and your partner can create a financial plan that secures your future and helps you enjoy the present.
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Victoria Vesovski is a Toronto-based Staff Reporter at Moneywise, where she covers the intersection of personal finance, lifestyle and trending news. She holds an Honours Bachelor of Arts from the University of Toronto, a postgraduate certificate in Publishing from Toronto Metropolitan University and a Master’s degree in American Journalism from New York University’s Arthur L. Carter Journalism Institute. Her work has been featured in publications including Apple News, Yahoo Finance, MSN Money, Her Campus Media and The Click.
