Jul 25, 2026
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Add us on GoogleWith the historic $124 trillion Great Wealth Transfer underway, roughly 42% of American adults say they still rely on the previous generation for financial support. From paying phone bills, to helping with the downpayment on a home, the support can take on various forms — and amounts.
According to a 2025 national study by AARP, American parents on average provided about $7,000 annually, with a median contribution of $1,400. But what if the contribution is much higher — and is being given to an adult child seemingly unwillingly to work?
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Let’s take the example of David and Anna, who are retired and give their unemployed 43-year-old son, Michael, $4,000 a month. Michael has struggled to hold down a job since he was in his 20s and regularly goes through bouts of unemployment. His parents say he always has an excuse for not finding — or keeping — a job, and they’re reading to finally cut him off.
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However, they’re worried because they already have a strained relationship with their son and think he could go “AWOL” if they finally stop bankrolling him. David and Anna are wondering how they can set a healthy financial boundary with their son without running their relationship.
Dealing with a financially dependent adult child
While many parents want to support their children into adulthood, it may not always be financially or emotionally plausible, especially if you’re dealing with an adult who has become almost entirely dependent.
In the case of David and Anna, their $4,000 monthly gift costs them $48,000 a year. Since their son has struggled with stable employment for nearly two decades, this couple has realistically gifted him hundreds of thousands of dollars. For a retired couple living on a fixed income, this could be a massive financial burden — and an unsustainable situation long term.
According to a 2025 study from Ameriprise Financial, while 65% of parents believe they’ll have enough money to live comfortably in retirement, 36% worry that supporting adult children financially could impact their plans.
“If you are experiencing financial distress or delaying retirement or worried about your own financial health because of the agreement that’s probably a sign that you’re going beyond what you should be doing to support your children,” Megan McCoy, a financial therapist and professor at Kansas State University, told Moneywise.
McCoy says that, given current economic pressure, supporting an adult child can help them succeed in life, but sometimes it can turn into enabling, which can impact the financial wellbeing of both parties.
“You’re not giving because you’re trying to make them successful, you’re giving because you feel guilty or you’re worried,” McCory says. “I think understanding the ‘why’ in supporting an adult child is the first step in unpacking all of that.”
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Setting healthy boundaries
In the case of David and Anna, their financial gift to their son could be a form of enabling if it’s become an excuse for him to avoid looking for a job. McCoy says the family should sit down and have a conversation about this arrangement to determine whether it’s working for everyone — but she advises against cutting him off immediately.
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“I wouldn’t do it right away; a conversation is the first step,” she says. “I want the parents to say ‘I don’t want to hold you back from the success that I know you can accomplish.’”
McCoy says the family should outline a clear game plan to determine what support Michael needs to find meaningful employment and what his goals are. By setting clear goals — and boundaries — the family can come up with a plan that eases the financial pressure on the parents without making Michael feel like he’s being cut off.
Since this family already has a strained relationship, McCoy says it’s also important to determine whether there are any underlying issues in the family or with Michael that are contributing to this situation.
“If there’s this unsaid dynamic of anger or mental health that needs to be treated, you can’t just use money as a bandaid,” McCoy says.
If David and Anna decide to continue providing some financial support to Michael, it’s important that they don’t stretch themselves too thin and find the right balance between their financial health and their desire to help their son.
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Rinna Diamantakos is an assigning editor at Moneywise.com. A versatile journalist, she has experience as a writer, editor and producer. Her work has focused on politics, business and financial news.
