Mar 7, 2026
It’s no secret that wedding costs have soared in recent years. According to 2025 research from The Knot, the average cost for a wedding in the U.S. is $33,000. While this varies by state, they found that keeping costs low usually means a small celebration — each guest is about $284 according to their analysis, and couples who kept their budget under $15,000 invited an average of just 89 guests (1).
One Michigan couple is hoping to nearly double that number, with 150 guests and a miniscule budget of only $6,000-$8,000 — and the bride’s mother is not happy about it. Karen from Detroit called into The Ramsey Show in February to say that she has given her daughter $24,000 for wedding expenses, but she and her fiancé are very frugal and are hoping to save most of the gift for a downpayment on a home or other major financial goals.
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“It's great that they're frugal. We appreciate that,” Karen said (2). “But we have some real concerns about: not enough food, not enough seating. They're cutting corners so much that we feel … in the future they will regret it.”
Here’s why the Ramsey Show hosts said that gift-giving, even for a major family event like a wedding, should not come with strings. Here’s how to avoid conflict when giving financial gifts, who typically pays for weddings, and how to make your own expectations clear while respecting the choices of the recipient.
Who foots the bill for a wedding?
While many people believe couples are now responsible for their wedding costs, the reality is that parents are still paying for slightly more than half of most weddings. The Knot’s Real Weddings Study from 2024 found that couples are paying for about 48% of their wedding costs, while their parents are ponying up for the remaining 52% (2).
With so much of the costs coming from the Bank of Mom and Dad, parents may feel justified in dictating how their children spend the money on their big day. But as Ken Coleman noted, this can lead to resentment.
“If they feel what I think they've already felt from you, and you don't change that tune, there's going to be resentment around what could be the most special day of their life,” he said.
Host Jade Warshaw agreed. “The parent wants one thing, the bride or groom wants something else. And ultimately, it's the bride and groom's wedding.”
So if you’re giving your children a large financial gift, be mindful of your own unspoken expectations, and how you’ll feel if they’re not observed. If your gift comes with strings, consider either changing the gift to a loan so that you won’t feel slighted if the money is used differently, or reducing the amount you intend to give.
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Gift giving 101 for parents
The Ramsey Show hosts' verdict is that a gift is a gift, and you don’t get to dictate how your children spend it.
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Regarding the couple’s frugality, host Ken Colmen said “I say this is a fabulous young couple. I actually think you should honor this request, and you need to get over it.”
If you are a parent helping your son or daughter pay for their wedding, take some time to reflect on your own expectations of the event and how you will feel if they are not met. Before giving money for a wedding, ask yourself whether you can detach from these expectations and vow to enjoy the experience, no matter how it may differ from your own ideas of what a wedding should be.
If you are having trouble managing your expectations, know that you can talk to your child as an equal adult and tell them your feelings. This doesn’t mean they have the responsibility to meet them, but it gives you space to be honest and possibly release some of the negative feelings that may build up if they continue to go unaired.
In the end, it’s important to remember that your children are individuals, and it’s not a disaster to disagree. Warshaw summed it up like this: “It's okay that they're doing something different, and it's okay that you don't understand it. It's okay that it's not the way you would spend the money. I think that's just them expressing themselves within their values.”
Article sources
We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.
The Knot (1, 3); @RamseyShowHighlights (2)
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Rebecca Holland is dedicated to creating clear, accessible advice for readers navigating the complexities of money management, investing and financial planning. Her work has been featured in respected publications including the Financial Post, The Globe & Mail, and the Edmonton Journal.
