Jan 26, 2026
Adult children in America are providing billions in financial support to their parents each year. The U.S. Census Bureau reported that in 2018, $27.9 billion was gifted to parents from their children, and even during the height of the pandemic in 2020, approximately 4.3 million adults provided $17.5 billion in support to parents living outside of their households (1).
And while many children are happy to help, the financial burden can become too much for some. A woman named Courney, from Los Angeles, recently called The Ramsey Show with concerns that her parents are taking advantage of her support.
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Hosts Dave Ramsey and George Kamel listened as Courtney explained that her parents are tenants in a rental property that she owns, but they are late with rent every month. Moreover, they aren’t open to communicating about their financial troubles.
“I don't know what to do,” she said. “I have diligently made sure each month I communicate with them … but nothing's changed. I've asked them to move in with us. The answer is no. I've asked them to think about moving into something cheaper. The answer is no. I've asked them, ‘Do I need to set aside money to get a bigger home with the mother-in-law unit?’ The answer again is no.”
Ramsey’s advice was kind, but blunt.
“It's so hard when it's family, and especially your mom and dad, and you're trying to do something nice for them,” he said. He suggested two options: “One is give up… You're just saying whatever that house is worth, I'm just pissing that money away in the name of taking care of my parents, and I'm just going to live with that and not fret about it.”
“The other option, if you want to be a little more aggressive, you can call them and say, ‘Mom and Dad, I talked to my financial advisor, and he said to sell this house. So we're going to put the house on the market and sell it. Y’all are going to have to find a place to live,’” he said (2).
While Courtney was relieved to get this advice, many others in her situation may feel conflicted. Here’s how you can set effective boundaries with your parents about money, and offer help without sacrificing your financial stability.
When family and finances mix
Intergenerational living is on the rise in the U.S. as high housing prices and surging inflation have made the cost of living tough for all generations. The National Association of Realtors reports that 17% of homes purchased in 2024 were intended for a multigenerational household, up sharply from 11% in 2015 (3). Meanwhile, 6 million U.S. households were multigenerational in 2020, up from 5.1 million in 2010 (4).
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But mixed households can lead to mixed finances too, and it can be difficult to know where to draw the line. As Courtney’s example shows, informal financial agreements with family can result in resentment and money issues, and good intentions don’t replace clear expectations and open communication.
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How to set financial boundaries with your family
If you would put yourself under financial stress by helping your parents, know that it’s okay to say no. As Ramsey said to Courtney, “If you stop the enabling, it'll also stop the resentment that's been bubbling up in your life.”
“Just say, ‘I love you, I hope it works out,’ he advised. “And then stop worrying about it. You've done all you can do, and 11 years is too much.”
“You’re a good daughter either way.”
In order to set good financial boundaries with your parents or family members, aim to: *
- Be businesslike: Communicate your expectations clearly, and set limits on how you can help. Set a clear deadline for repayment if applicable.
- Be clear on what’s a gift and what’s a loan: Muddled expectations can create resentment on both sides if a gift is suddenly expected to be repaid.
- Don’t sacrifice your financial stability: If you cannot help without jeopardizing your own budget and savings, then it’s a firm no. Just like you put on your own oxygen mask first during an in-flight emergency, don’t spend money on your family when you don’t have enough for yourself.
- Don’t let it slide: If your boundaries are not respected, withdraw your help. It’s important to make it clear that you won’t tolerate disrespect if you’re helping your family financially.
Remember you’re not responsible for your parents’ financial choices. If you can no longer help them financially, consider offering support like reviewing their budgeting or bills, or helping them find a good financial advisor.
Article Sources
We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.
United States Census Bureau (1); The Ramsey Show (2); National Association of Realtors (3); United States Census Bureau (4)
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Rebecca Holland is dedicated to creating clear, accessible advice for readers navigating the complexities of money management, investing and financial planning. Her work has been featured in respected publications including the Financial Post, The Globe & Mail, and the Edmonton Journal.
