My nightmare in-laws are coming to visit — and they’re demanding I board my senior dog for their two-week stay. Who should pay?

So, what happens if conflict does arise between a mother-in-law and the dog? Let’s pretend that Katie’s mother-in-law, Eleanor, is coming to visit and demanding that Katie and her husband, Eric, board their senior dog for the entire duration. How should they handle the situation?

Katie and Eric should get to the bottom of the boarding request

Katie and Eric should do two things before addressing the financial issues: understand the reason for the request and decide if they’re willing to consider it.

“The very first thing to consider is whether you and your partner are open to boarding your pet for two weeks,” David Bowers, a family therapist at LifewRx, told Moneywise. “There’s nothing inherently wrong with doing so. On the other hand, if either of you is uncomfortable with doing that in the first place, a more crucial conversation about the upcoming visit might be in order.”

Bowers recommended that Katie and Eric dig deeper, commenting: “Do you know what the underlying cause for their request might be? A fear of dogs? Allergies? Just wanting to inconvenience you because you married their child?”

Dr. Larry Schooler, assistant professor of practice at the University of Texas at Austin, also suggests asking Eleanor to explain — and doing so with an open mind. “Focus on listening for understanding, not listening to respond or rebut their claims. The more you can respond empathically, the better,” he told Moneywise.

Of course, the conversation shouldn’t be one-sided. “Once you have a sense of their underlying concerns, you can share your own interests: Safety for your dog, having your in-laws bond with the dog, and affordable care for the dog,” Schooler said.

Bowers also believes the reason Eleanor is visiting may affect the couple’s response. If Eleanor is coming as a favor to them, say to take care of their kids, that’s a very different situation than if they’re doing Eleanor a favor by letting her visit while her house is under construction.

Explore alternatives

While boarding may be Eleanor’s preferred solution, Katie and Eric should also feel free to provide some suggestions of their own before committing.

“Offer some ideas in addition to boarding that could address the concerns,” Schooler suggested. This could include things like having the in-laws stay with a neighbor or in a hotel, or having the dog stay in a different room.

“Once you collect the ideas, you can evaluate them together based on how well they’ll align with your interests,” Schooler said. “That should enable you to pick a solution that works for all, even if it’s not your perfect or first choice solution.”

The couple should also realize this solution will set the precedent for years to come. If they agree to board this year, they may have to board every year.

If they agree to board, a conversation about the finances is in order

If the couple agrees to board the dog, the financial issue is critical to address. Dog boarding costs an average of $40 to $50 per night. For a two-week visit, that’s hundreds of dollars.

“You would probably want to have that total cost be part of the conversation, because, especially if your in-laws don’t have pets, they could have no idea the sort of expense you’re looking at,” Bowers said.