An old friend stayed with me, and only after he left did I see he’d damaged my $1,500 coffee table. Can I demand payment?

Let’s pretend, for example, that James had an old friend, Dan, who came for a weeklong visit. Unfortunately, after Dan left, James discovered that Dan had damaged his expensive coffee table by spilling a drink on it and not cleaning it up. Now, James is left wondering if he should ask Dan to chip in for a new table.

Did Dan know about the table damage?

While it may seem like the obvious question is whether James should ask Dan for cash, there’s actually another side of the coin to consider.

“I would actually turn the scenario around,” Robbie Hyman, a Silicon Valley marketing writer and author of The Money Savvy Teen, told Moneywise. “If someone staying with you damages your expensive coffee table, the question is whether or not the person offers to pay for it. The answer to that question is a great way to learn whether your houseguest is in fact a friend at all, or just someone you know.”

If Dan knew he’d damaged the table, he should have talked to James to make things right.

“I don’t think the table-wrecking friend actually owes you money to repair or replace it,” Hyman said. “A friendship is not a professional arrangement or a legal contract. A sincere apology might even suffice, especially if your guest doesn’t have cash to buy a costly coffee table.”

While Hyman said the most honorable move would be for Dan to offer to financially contribute toward a new table when he can, the reality is that if Dan knew he damaged the table and said nothing at all, that behavior may be a bigger problem than the ruined furniture.

Approach the situation carefully

While James has a right to be upset about Dan’s radio silence and a right to broach the subject, James still must be careful with how he handles the situation.

“The most important thing, in any scenario, is that you approach your friend with love and try not to get too emotionally attached to the coffee table,” said David Wangberg, founder of Wangberg Financial Coaching.