My ex and I can’t agree on the day we separated. I’ve found out that the date can impact how much money I get. How can I prove the timeline?

For example, let’s say Patty and Steve of North Carolina are getting a divorce and have been legally separated for a while. Patty believes the separation date was when she told Steve she was done with the marriage. However, the couple briefly considered reconciling a few weeks later, so Steve believes they have a different separation date.

So, who is right? How can the date of separation affect asset division, and what can the soon-to-be divorced couple do to prove when the separation began?

Why does the date of separation matter?

First things first. It’s important to understand why the separation date matters so much. And the answer can depend on your location.

“In states like North Carolina, the date of separation is particularly important because it generally establishes the cutoff for determining what property and debt are marital,” Nicole Sodoma, a family law attorney and founder of Sodoma Law, told Moneywise.

However, as Sodoma and other experts point out, this isn’t the case everywhere.

“The premise of this question is state-specific because the date of separation does not determine the marital cutoff in every jurisdiction.” Katherine Miller, a partner at Miller Law Group and author of the book Emotionally Savvy Divorce, told Moneywise.

Miller explained that in New York and a number of other jurisdictions, “The marital cutoff is generally the date the divorce action is commenced,” which she believes “creates a clearer legal line.”

Knowing which date counts matters because, as Miller said, it can “materially affect which income, assets, and debts are included in the marital estate.” If, for example, Steve took out a large new loan or Patty got a sign-on bonus for taking a new job, those assets and debts could be included in the marital estate or not, depending on when the couple stopped being united in the eyes of the law.

A divorce attorney can help you determine whether the date of separation is the key cutoff in the state where your divorce is taking place, so you’ll know when property and debt stop belonging to both of you and become separate under the law.

How can you determine the date of separation?

So, if the date of separation matters, what can you do if you disagree?

“If the spouses cannot agree, the date may become a factual question for the court,” Miller said. “The court would need to examine the circumstances surrounding the separation and determine when the marital partnership actually ended.”

“Some states require you to file a document that indicates you have legally separated,” Sodoma said. In those states, you’ll provide an affidavit or pleading specifying the separation date, but your spouse can refute it with evidence if they choose to.