Aug 14, 2025
When planning an estate, it’s fairly common for the process to bring up some difficult emotions, ones that can lead to tough decisions about legacy and family dynamics.
Take Anna, for example. Anna — who lives in Las Vegas — wants to disown her son, who has been diagnosed as a narcissist. She has her assets in a trust for her three children and two grandchildren, as well as $200,000 in a brokerage account that’s currently in her son’s name (an account he doesn’t know about).
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“I want to take him off of it because he does not deserve it,” Anna said during a recent episode of The Ramsey Show, describing her son as a “horrible father, horrible son, horrible husband, everything — just think of the worst.”
Her son and daughter-in-law are getting divorced, and Anna now wants to put her daughter-in-law’s name on the brokerage account instead of her son's. “She will take care of those children. She’s a wonderful mother,” said Anna.
Here’s why The Ramsey Show says Anna’s going about things all wrong.
‘He’ll get his hands on it in some way’
“You are well within your right to spend your money however you want to spend it,” co-host Dr. John Delony told Anna.
But, as Delony explained, “if you give her this money and she turns around and leaves him, he will get a huge chunk of it in the divorce settlement.” Anna asked if that would still be the case even after the divorce, to which Delony urged her to speak with an attorney to be absolutely sure.
“My guess is he’s going to file some sort of alimony, some sort of something, and he’ll get his hands on it in some way,” said Delony.
Anna doesn’t have a will; she has a trust — a legal arrangement in which you transfer your assets into an account that’s managed during your lifetime and after death. You can designate beneficiaries to receive your assets after your death, helping to avoid the costly and time-consuming probate process.
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One option that Anna could explore would be to transfer the $200K from the brokerage account into the trust. A trust can specify distributions at certain intervals — for example, Anna could designate that her grandchildren receive assets at a specific age or milestone in their lives.
However, Anna doesn’t want to go with this route — it’s not entirely clear why, except that she “promised” her husband she wouldn’t change the trust.
In the meantime, Anna may want to consider creating a will. It’s often a good idea to have a will even if you have a trust, since a will addresses any assets that aren’t included in the trust, as well as end-of-life wishes.
For those who already have a trust, like Anna, one option is a pour-over will. With this option, any assets you haven’t placed in the trust will be transferred into the trust after your death. This helps to avoid probate while distributing assets according to your wishes.
But it’s also important to have a living will, which includes directives for medical decisions, should you be unable to make those decisions for yourself. A living will, for example, would include medical power of attorney and advanced health care directives.
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A surprising number of Americans don’t have a will. According to Caring.com’s 2025 Wills and Estate Planning survey, only 24% of respondents said they have a will. One of the main reasons for not having one? Respondents said they just haven’t gotten around to it.
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What are Anna’s options?
If Anna isn’t willing to transfer the money in her brokerage account to the trust, she could also consider gifting assets to her daughter-in-law.
“I would love to see some direct gifts that are assets,” said Delony.
For example, Delony suggests she could buy a $200,000 house and gift it to her daughter-in-law, or put some of that money in a 529 plan for each of the grandkids to help pay for future college expenses.
The IRS considers contributions to 529 plans as gifts, so that money would count toward Anna’s gift tax exemption if she chose to go with this route. The same goes for property. In 2025, you can gift up to $19,000 without that counting toward your lifetime gift and estate tax exemption of $13.99 million.
But if Anna liquidates her brokerage account, there would be tax implications.
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“You’ll have your capital gains tax,” said co-host George Kamel. “And if it was held for longer than a year, it’ll be long-term, likely 15%, depending on your situation. So, you’ll pay 15% of whatever money you liquidate from the brokerage account.”
Anna will want to talk to her estate planning attorney before making any moves, though she may also want to seek advice about her brokerage account from an investment professional, or advice about tax strategy from a tax professional.
“They’re going to know the best way to set this up to keep his [Anna’s son’s] hands off of it,” said Kamel.
But there’s another reason the hosts want Anna to consult the pros.
“I want you to be very careful,” Delony told Anna. “You’re mad.” And, as Delony explained, when people are angry, they tend to go into fight-or-flight mode. “Our brains literally shut off the critical-thinking parts of our brain and we are simply responding animals.”
If Anna is making decisions out of anger, there’s a good chance that she may not be thinking clearly. “That’s why you’ve got to get a professional in your corner so that you can exhale and make a logical move,” said Delony. “Get a critical-thinking brain next to you.”
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Vawn Himmelsbach is a veteran journalist who has been covering tech, business, finance and travel for the past three decades. Her work has been featured in publications such as The Globe and Mail, Toronto Star, National Post, Metro News, Canadian Geographic, Zoomer, CAA Magazine, Travelweek, Explore Magazine, Flare and Consumer Reports, to name a few.
