Jun 2, 2026
Most people in their 40s aren’t independently wealthy in the United States. In fact, Empower reports that while the average net worth of people in their 40s is $750,578, the median net worth is just $68,698. So if you’re set for life at this age, you are definitely a minority.
And unfortunately, having far more money than your friends can make things awkward.
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Let’s pretend, for example, that Alex hustled throughout his 20s and is now independently wealthy at 42. He never needs to work again, and he can pretty much spend whatever he wants within his means.
But when Alex spends time with his friends, they tend to make snide comments about money. Alex says he doesn’t flaunt his wealth, but he’s still not sure what to do to make the situation better. How should Alex handle the situation?
Here are a few suggestions.
Examine your behavior first
While Alex may feel like he isn’t flaunting his wealth and that his friends are acting strangely about money, this may not be the case at all. The reality is that many people aren’t fully conscious of their behaviors or are oversensitive with things that they don’t feel fully secure about.
Alex should take a close look at how he acts around his friends. Does he continually talk about the great vacations he’s taking, or proudly show up in a new luxury car to offer everyone a ride? While Alex may be genuinely excited about the things he’s doing and eager to share them with friends, this could come across as bragging when there’s a big wealth disparity.
He may also find that the discomfort he feels about money around his friends comes from within.
For example, if Alex’s friends are complaining about their own financial situations or making comments about wishing they could afford something, those comments may not be directed at Alex personally but could just be a friend sharing their struggles. That dynamic could trigger guilt even if he’s done nothing wrong.
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Make sure you’re choosing outings that everyone can afford
Once you have a lot of money and get used to a certain standard of living, it’s easy to forget that not everyone has the same means.
If Alex regularly suggests expensive outings like concerts, sporting events or high-end restaurants, he may be making his friends feel uncomfortable or inferior without intending to.
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With the National Endowment for Financial Education (NEFE) reporting that 88% of U.S. adults experience financial stress, and the average concert ticket now costing $144 per person, up 36% since 2019, according to AMW World Group and Pollstar, Alex may think he’s suggesting a fun outing without realizing that it could be a major financial burden for the rest of his group.
When in doubt, he could let his friends suggest activities so he knows they are picking things that fit their budget. Or he could make a point of suggesting free or affordable events when spending time with those who may not have a huge net worth. A walk in the park could be a better way to connect than renting a yacht.
Don’t give unsolicited financial advice
When you’re content with your success, you may feel like you have tips to share with others that could help them achieve the same financial freedom you enjoy. You may even feel like it’s helpful to advise your friends who are struggling with money if you see them making questionable financial choices.
The reality, though, is that no one wants unsolicited advice, especially if they are already stressed about their situation. Alex should not make any spending, saving or investing suggestions unless he is directly asked.
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Avoid being patronizing when you treat
If you have more money than your friends do, you may want to treat them to special events or cover the bill. Unfortunately, these attempts to be nice can come across as patronizing and cause bad feelings if you do it the wrong way.
As a general rule, Alex should not offer to treat regularly if it seems to make people uncomfortable. And if he does want to cover a special event for everyone, he should make clear that it is a gift he genuinely wants to give in celebration of a special occasion, and he should ensure there are no strings attached.
Tackle the issue head-on with a conversation
Finally, if you are sure you aren’t flaunting your wealth, you’re suggesting inclusive outings, and your friends really are being weird, you could tackle the conversation head-on.
This may be a good move, as research from Ally reveals that as many as one in five young adults say financial or lifestyle differences have contributed to the falling out of a friendship.
Alex could speak privately with each friend he feels is acting oddly. He can tell them that he’s noticed they seem uncomfortable about money, and ask them if there’s anything they’d like to talk about to clear the air.
A good friend will be willing to have the conversation and get over the weirdness. If his friends are unwilling to do that, he’ll need to consider whether his friendship is worth keeping, considering the way they make him feel about his success.
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Christy Bieber has 15 years of experience as a personal finance and legal writer. She has written for many publications including Forbes, Kilplinger, CNN, WSJ, Credit Karma, Insurify and more.
