May 21, 2026
Nearly half of U.S. adults say dating is hard right now. But for some men, it’s not just the lack of options, the multitude of apps or the ghosting that’s the problem — it’s the grind of startup life.
Business Insider’s Amanda Yen, who interviewed several young startup founders who all said dating has taken a back seat to their work, calls this the “rise of a breakup line: ‘It’s not you, it’s my startup.’”
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“I’m investing so much, burning so much every month in my business. It’s like it’s not economically sensible to go invest in dating,” Lee Beckman, the 30-year-old founder of an ed-tech startup, shared with Yen.
Archish Arun, 21, dropped out of Stanford to go full-time on his Y Combinator-backed video production startup — and his relationship paid the price. He grew so accustomed to moving fast that he became impatient when his girlfriend needed time to process a disagreement. Living on startup time, he says, “brought out a lot of the issues” between them “in a much quicker way.”
Yen experienced the phenomenon herself when her now-ex, who believes the AI boom will propel those who catch it early into wealth, decided to move to San Francisco to scale his media startup.
“I feel like I owe it to myself to chase this dream that I’ve had since I was a kid,” he told her. “And if we stay together, I’ll just spend every free minute trying to get back to New York to see you.”
It’s a painful realization for some, but these startup founders could be missing out on much more than just companionship.
What they’re missing out on
While financial reasoning may contribute to these discouraged daters devaluing the pursuit of a relationship, marriage has financial benefits as well.
Married households under 35 have 3.1 times the net worth of their single male peers, and 9.2 times more than unmarried female householders, according to the U.S. Census Bureau’s 2022 Survey of Income and Program Participation. That gap doesn’t happen by accident.
Some of it comes down to simple math: two people sharing a one-bedroom apartment, rather than renting separately, can save hundreds of dollars a month. Married couples also pay 8% less for car insurance, on average. And if one partner has employer-sponsored health coverage, the other can be added, avoiding the cost of a separate plan entirely.
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Tax filing is another factor. Married couples filing jointly often land in a lower tax bracket and may qualify for more credits. There’s also the health savings account bump: married couples can contribute up to $8,750 in 2026 — nearly double the $4,400 limit for individuals.
And then there are the less tangible benefits, like having someone to help you make financial decisions. Having a partner’s income can also serve as a backup, allowing you to hold out for a better-paying job or risk asking for that raise. It can also be easier to weather a financial storm when there are two potential earners, and that type of stability has real value.
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What does this mean for Gen Z?
Marriage isn’t for everyone — and a growing number of women, especially, are deciding it’s not right for them.
However, there are both emotional and financial benefits to marriage that are worth considering. Here’s how to navigate dating if you’re hyper-focused on your career, or if you’re considering dating someone who is.
Be upfront and honest
There’s nothing inherently wrong with focusing on your career or your startup, just be up front about it. Dating someone under false pretenses — implying you have more bandwidth in your daily life than you actually do — wastes everyone’s time and often ends badly.
Amy Andersen, a Silicon Valley matchmaker quoted in Yen’s Business Insider story, says founders who are ready for serious relationships tend to be in their mid-to-late 30s. If you’re not there yet, it’s worth being honest with yourself and with the people you’re dating about what you can realistically offer.
Consider putting a time limit on the grind
Many founders are feeling a kind of “now or never” pressure due to the AI boom, leading them to put off relationships until later.
If you’re treating relationships as something to revisit later in life, it helps to define what “later” actually means. Setting a personal horizon, whether that’s hitting a funding milestone or a specific age, can help you avoid drifting into your later years without ever taking the time to find a partner.
Try to find a balance
Not every founder has to choose. Dmitri Mirakyan, another founder in Yen’s story, makes his relationship work because his girlfriend understands the demands of startup life and meets him where he is.
The couples who navigate this well tend to have explicit conversations about expectations early. If your partner knows what they’re signing up for, and you’re genuinely invested when you do show up, a relationship and a startup aren’t mutually exclusive.
If marriage isn’t for you, then the startup grind might not impact your future much. However, if you do want a partnership (even just someday), don’t let your career get in the way of intentional choices.
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Danielle is a personal finance writer whose work has appeared in publications including Motley Fool and Business Insider. She believes financial literacy key to helping people build a life they love. She’s especially passionate about helping families and kids learn smart money habits early.
