Feb 13, 2025
Love may be priceless, but money can still complicate relationships — a concept that can intensify when there’s a wide income gap between partners.
Personal finance expert Ramit Sethi shared an eye-opening anecdote on an episode of the “Prof G Markets” podcast with hosts Scott Galloway and Ed Elson posted on Jan. 9. It was about a woman in her late-30s who earns $200,000 a month, 100 times more than her boyfriend, but wanted that feeling of being taken care of by her man.
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“She said, ‘Hey, I would like for you to pay for me sometimes; it makes me feel good if you pick up the check,’” Sethi recalled. “He said, ‘Great! I’d love to.’”
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But when the moment came at the end of a dinner date, she stopped him from paying and insisted he put the money toward his savings. The couple struggled with their income and expectations gap until they came up with an “unconventional” solution.
Here’s how Sethi says couples in lopsided relationships can manage finances equitably.
Lopsided relationships
It’s common in relationships for one partner to be the breadwinner or sole provider. Only 29% of opposite-sex marriages in the U.S. were egalitarian in 2022 — meaning both partners earned roughly the same amount of money — according to Pew Research Center.
In some cases, a wide gap in income can lead to tension between couples. That’s why it’s important to find amicable solutions.
Sethi says the couple he spoke with came up with a creative way to solve their problem. To meet her desire to be looked after by her boyfriend, on date nights she would slip him her credit card ahead of time so that he could pay with it and make her “feel good.”
“Is it weird? Yeah, that’s pretty weird,” Sethi admitted. “Do I care? No, because every couple comes up with their own solution.”
Balancing emotions and expectations, Sethi believes, is the key to successfully managing money as a couple.
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Managing finances equitably
In a video uploaded to his YouTube channel, Sethi suggests two ways a couple with lopsided incomes can manage their finances together.
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One way is to spend money proportionally. If the household income is split 70% to 30%, for example, all expenses could be maintained at the same ratio to keep the budget fair. Another strategy is to simply “combine it all.” The household income and budget are combined between both partners regardless of relative income.
Sethi says he prefers the latter strategy because “it structurally focuses you together. You’re no longer talking about me and you, it’s we.”
Research from the Indiana University Kelley School of Business published in 2023 found that married couples who have joint bank accounts have better relationships, fight less over money and feel better about household finances.
In any case, communicating with your partner to understand one another’s preferences and expectations can be crucial to creating a healthy financial dynamic.
“Come up with your unusual arrangement. Make it happen,” Sethi said on the podcast.
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Vishesh Raisinghani is a financial journalist covering personal finance, investing and the global economy. He's also the founder of Sharpe Ascension Inc., a content marketing agency focused on investment firms. His work has appeared in Moneywise, Yahoo Finance!, Motley Fool, Seeking Alpha, Mergers & Acquisitions Magazine and Piggybank.
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