That’s the situation Rebecca from Sarasota, Florida is in. She called into The Ramsey Show because she can’t trust her husband with money. And a big reason for this boils down to his lottery ticket-buying habit.
At first, host Dave Ramsey thought the flaw was in the couple’s money management system — and how their accounts are set up. "Your system sucks," said Ramsey when Rebecca explained how she and her husband mostly have separate financial accounts.
But once he dug deeper into the details of the situation, Ramsey changed his approach. “I think you’re dealing with an addict, honey,” he said, apologizing for having to walk back his original advice to merge accounts in favor of different guidance.
When you can't trust your spouse with money for a good reason
As Rebecca explained to Ramsey and co-host George Kamel, she and her husband have been working on Ramsey’s Baby Steps program. They share a combined checking account for mortgage payments, but they keep the rest of their finances separate. And the reason she's very hesitant to combine all of their money into one account is that, as she said, her husband isn't “very good with money.”
But keeping money separate may actually be detrimental to a relationship, under normal circumstances. A 2022 survey by the American Psychological Association found that couples who combine finances, as opposed to keeping them separate, "experience greater relationship satisfaction and are less likely to break up." These benefits were especially pronounced in relationships where financial resources were scarce.
A 2023 report by the Kellogg School of Management found that 52% to 65% of couples have joint bank accounts only and 10% to 15% have separate accounts, while the remainder have a combination of joint and separate accounts. But a joint account really only works when there’s a certain level of trust involved.
At first, Ramsey said that Rebecca and her husband need to sit down together, go over a budget and agree on where their money is going. But the more Rebecca talked about her husband's spending habits, the more both hosts realized that they were dealing with someone with an actual gambling addiction. Rebecca’s husband was hiding his spending and Rebecca had to confront him about his financial infidelity.
As Rebecca hesitantly explained, her husband recently spent $14,000 on scratch-off lottery tickets in a single month — an amount he’s not able to cover with their combined monthly income of $10,000. And that understandably caused her concern. Kamel asked if Rebecca’s husband is going into debt for these sprees and Rebecca confirmed that he was and that it put additional financial strain on her, as a result. "When he can't pay bills, I have to pick up the slack," she told Ramsey and Kamel.
Rebecca reiterated that she doesn’t think her spouse has a gambling addiction; it’s more that he isn’t transparent about where he spends his money. However, Ramsey and Kamel were quick to point out that due to the nature of his spending on lottery tickets relative to his income, there is an actual underlying problem that needs addressing.
Ramsey's solution
Ramsey and Kamel agreed that Rebecca's situation is a tricky one. But they don't think maintaining separate accounts is necessarily the answer.
