Aug 1, 2025
Recently, a woman named Shelby called into The Ramsey Show with an important question. She wanted to know if "the person I am dating is actually a scam artist or not with crypto."
While Ramsey wasn't 100% sure that the boyfriend was a scam artist at first, he still had some choice words to say about the way the boyfriend was treating Shelby. However, at one point, the call took a turn, and it became very clear to Ramsey exactly what was going on.
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Here's what happened, along with some tips for others to avoid a similar situation, where your finances and your heart may be at risk.
A complete con
Shelby said that she is currently working on trying to build up her emergency fund, but her boyfriend, who has "way more money" than she does, has some very different financial advice for her.
"He's trying to get me to cash out my 401(k) to fund crypto because he has this plan that he's been working on for about three years, and he says he has a 90% money back," she said. While Shelby admitted that this all sounded "pretty sketchy," she also wasn't sure about what to do because of the pressure her boyfriend was placing on her.
"When I have tried to talk to him about it, he's throwing it back like I'm making the wrong decision, and it’s really stressing me out. I have tried talking to him about it, and he keeps coming back with that I'm not making good financial choices," she explained.
Ramsey's reply was blunt, as he told Shelby, "You know why it smells bad? Because it stinks." He went on to ask her if she'd previously been in a toxic relationship, and tearfully she explained that she had.
Ramsey felt her desperation for this new relationship to work out was the root of her sadness. He advised breaking up right away because her boyfriend was either an "idiot or a conman," as even people who believe in crypto don't put their 401(k) into it and know there's no such thing as a 90% play.
Eventually, Shelby ended up admitting that she had never actually met this boyfriend, claiming it was because their schedules didn't match since she is a single mom. As soon as Ramsey heard that fact, he was no longer torn about whether the conman was a scammer or stupid — he told her in no uncertain terms that she was being catfished and didn't have a boyfriend, just a scammer trying to take her money.
“You’ve never met him in person?” he said. "This is completely a con … this is a romance job. Oh man, wow. He doesn't even exist.”
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How to avoid falling victim to a romance scam
Sadly, scams like this one are widespread, with the FBI's Internet Crime Report revealing that there were 19,021 complaints about online confidence/romance scams in 2024.
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It is described as when “an individual believes they are in a relationship (family, friendly, or romantic) and are tricked into sending money, personal and financial information, or items of value to the perpetrator or to launder money or items to assist the perpetrator.”
These scams caused $672,009,052 in losses. If Shelby had sent her 401(k) funds to her "boyfriend," she too would have likely lost the money and been left with nothing, like the victims who filed complaints.
The reality is, removing money from a 401(k) to buy crypto would be a bad idea even if it wasn't a scam since early 401(k) withdrawals are hit with a 10% penalty and are taxed at your ordinary income tax rate when you take the money out — and taking a bunch of cash out at once can push you into a higher tax bracket.
Plus, crypto is too volatile an asset for most people to buy with retirement dollars. Money you are saving for your later years should be invested in a balanced, diversified portfolio containing assets like broad market exchange-traded funds (ETFs), because your retirement security is at stake.
The good news is that those at risk of romance scams can take steps to protect themselves.
Here are some of the recommendations from the FBI:
- Limit what you post online so scammers can't use this information to target you
- Look up names and profile photos of anyone you talk to on a dating site to see if they have been used elsewhere
- Always enter slowly into a relationship with someone online and ask lots of questions
- If someone seems too perfect, be aware they may be a scammer — especially if they ask you to leave the dating site very quickly and communicate in other ways
- Watch for signs that the person you are trying to talk to is trying to isolate you from loved ones
- Assume any discussion of your finances before meeting in person is not appropriate, and don't participate
- End a relationship quickly if the person you are talking to never seems to be able to meet in real life
- Do not send money, ever, to someone you haven't met in person
Fortunately for Shelby, Ramsey set her straight on this romance scam. She could choose to report the incident to the police and the FBI as well, in an attempt to alert others to the potential risk. Anyone who is the victim of an online romance scam can file a complaint with the FBI online and search for the local police station's non-emergency number to alert law enforcement to the scam.
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Christy Bieber has 15 years of experience as a personal finance and legal writer. She has written for many publications including Forbes, Kilplinger, CNN, WSJ, Credit Karma, Insurify and more.
