Tampa woman hid money issues from husband — now they’re facing bankruptcy, losing their home. Why Dave Ramsey says their business was always ‘doomed’

Now, after 16 years of marriage and with two kids, they’re facing possible bankruptcy and losing their rental apartment. Amanda has fallen behind on credit card bills, and their finances are in shambles. Worse, her husband wants to separate because he believes she’s committed financial infidelity. That led Amanda to reach out to The Ramsey Show for help.

Amanda’s secrecy left her husband feeling deceived, raising questions of the aforementioned financial infidelity and financial gaslighting. To see how it got to this point, it’s worth looking back at how their business began.

A venture that was doomed from the start

Amanda told Dave Ramsey that she and her husband pooled all their money to open the restaurant, quitting their jobs to work there full-time. The problem? They had never run a restaurant before and didn't know what they were doing.

Amanda handled the finances, but her short-term mindset clashed with her husband’s long-term outlook. "As long as I can pay my bills this month, I'm good," she said of her approach.

He asked her repeatedly how the business and their finances were doing. For two months, Amanda assured him everything was fine, even though it wasn’t.

Her husband, who had been burned financially by his ex-wife, said Amanda’s dishonesty is hard to forgive. She didn’t steal money or splurge irresponsibly, but hiding the truth about their situation is something he can't work past.

Ramsey didn’t mince words. Quitting their jobs to run a restaurant with no experience was, in his view, reckless.

"This was doomed from the start," he said, adding that her husband wasn’t blameless. “He’s as irresponsible as you are.”

Ramsey advised Amanda to admit she was in over her head and ask her husband for help. Now, he said, the couple "desperately" needs to meet with a marriage counselor.

He also said Amanda seems to be taking responsibility for her mistakes, while her husband is not. Moving forward, both need to take equal ownership of their finances.

Financial gaslighting or poor judgment?

Amanda clearly mismanaged the restaurant and her communication with her husband. But calling her behavior financial gaslighting may be a stretch.

At its core, financial gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which one person manipulates another over money. Amanda’s intent, based on her talk with Ramsey, was more about fear and not wanting to disappoint her husband than deliberately trying to control him.