A school psychologist named Maria called into The Ramsey Show in July with an unusual problem: Despite having minimal debt and a combined yearly income of nearly $300,000, she and her husband could not seem to stick to their budget.
Ramsey and co-host Jade Warshaw were visibly frustrated as Maria, who sounded nervous, waffled through the call and struggled to explain why her family couldn’t keep their spending on track.
“We have been Ramsey-ish for about two years,” the New Yorker said. “But life keeps getting in the way… It just feels like we cannot get ahead long enough to follow the steps in [Ramsey’s] plan, and it’s causing a lot of financial anxiety.”
While Ramsey and Warshaw assumed Maria and her husband were bringing home $20,000 per month, the reality is they make $13,600 per month. The difference, Maria said, is due to their retirement investments and insurance deductions.
Even so, the couple’s debts are relatively small. They owe $17,800 on credit cards, $8,000 on a car loan, and pay $2,700 per month for their mortgage. Maria also shared that the recent deaths of her mother and brother had forced the family to cover the funeral costs of $13,000 and $8,000, respectively.
“Where do you think the rest of the money is going?” Ramsey asked, but Maria couldn’t account for her family’s monthly spending or explain why the expenses were so overwhelming for their budget.
Ramsey’s advice
Ramsey didn’t mince words: “It sounds like you’re circling around the airport and refuse to land.”
“It’s not an intellectual circus. It’s not that hard,” he added. “You’re living drama to drama, crisis to crisis, and you’re letting that stuff dictate your life rather than you dictating to that stuff.”
He advised Maria to re-evaluate their retirement contributions, given that her husband’s take-home pay is lower than expected, and to focus on aggressively paying down their debt. He also urged her to track every dollar and take full advantage of the budgeting tools she already has.
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How to keep surprises from wrecking your budget
Life will always come with unexpected expenses. That’s why having and regularly contributing to an emergency fund is critical. It helps prevent credit card debt or other borrowing from spiraling out of control.
Ramsey recommends starting with a $1,000 fund if you don’t have one, then building up three to six months’ worth of expenses after you’ve paid off debt.
If an emergency has already pushed you into debt, remember that you’re still in the driver’s seat. Start by reviewing everything you owe, along with your essential monthly expenses. Once you know what’s left over, set a realistic monthly goal of paying off debt.
That may mean trimming discretionary spending for a while. But your long-term financial health — and peace of mind — will benefit from a few months of simpler living while you work things out.
How to fit your lifestyle to your income
Rachel Cruze, another co-host on The Ramsey Show, frequently talks about how high earners can still live paycheck to paycheck.
Cruze says it’s more than just the lifestyle creep, or the idea that spending rises with income. It’s also who you surround yourself with. As you climb income brackets, your social circles may create a new “normal” where higher spending feels expected.
Cruze acknowledged that inflation is straining many budgets. For those, like Maria, who live in expensive cities, the cost of living has been unsustainable. In such cases, Cruze suggests exploring a job change or moving to a more affordable area to stretch your income further.
She also warns that “debt steals your income.” Every dollar spent on interest payments is money you can’t put toward savings or goals. If you assume that earning more justifies taking on more debt, Cruze urges you to think again. Pay it off, and you ight be surprised how much breathing room it creates. Finally, Ramsey and Warshaw noted that Maria and her husband didn’t appear to be aligned when it came to money. If you’re working to get out of debt as a couple, you need to have regular, honest conversations — not just about a plan, but about each other’s financial values and attitudes.
Before you bring your concerns to your spouse, it can help to reflect on your own habits and mindset. That way, you’ll be better equipped to have calm, productive discussions that stay focused on shared goals.
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Rebecca Holland is dedicated to creating clear, accessible advice for readers navigating the complexities of money management, investing and financial planning. Her work has been featured in respected publications including the Financial Post, The Globe & Mail, and the Edmonton Journal.
